Auron leaned back in his chair with a frustrated sigh, and looked at the ceiling, still holding Chaos' hand. There was another sound of footsteps and he looked over to see a nervous little doctor coming toward them with a clip board, The little man had jerky movements and looked quiet ready to jump at the first sound. He approached them, eyes shifting from one to the others. When he stopped, he cleared his throat, and fumbled for a pen from his coat pocket. "Ahem..uh..Mr. Montgomery's surgery went quiet well. They've moved him to a room now..." Regan was on her feet. "Can I see him?" "Er...well yes...of course..." The doctor nearly dropped the pen at her sudden movement.

Faal released Regan as she practically flew at the doctor to find out where. "And my wife?  Mrs' Dominic?  how is she?" he asked, a lump forming in his throat as Chaos and Auron came over to join him, Chaos looping her free arm through his.

"Ah well...er..." the doctor fumbled more. Swallowed nervously at a look from Auron. "Mrs. er..Dominic has suffered a severe head trauma...that is to say, er...well to be perfect honest, I'm under the opinion she...although she seems to insist we're wrong calling her...a girl...has suffered amnesia..obviously amung other problems if...well perhaps you all should just go see for yourself..." The doctor shifted nervously.

Faal reached out and grabbed the doctor's sleeve and the man jumped. "What do you mean 'severe head trauma!? Is she alright? Does she need surgery as well?"  Faal asked and Chaos pulled him away slightly. the doctor stammered several times at the shock of being grabbed before he managed to answer. "No.. no, there's no need for surgery..." he swallowed and glanced behind him several times as he talked, obvioulsy wishing he was on another case. "She... has ... well .. amnesia. It's not as severe as some that have been reported, of course, .. she can remember most of her life it seems.. just the past few years seem to be mising.. but she... seems to think she's not .. a she..." He tugged at his collar. "Would'nt you just rather talk to her and see for yourself?"  Auron pushed Faal aside  before he could do anything else to upset the doctor. "Yes, doctor.. which rooms are they in, please?"  the doctor blinked at the word 'they' then remembered, and cleared his throat. "The young lady is in exam thre.. right there."He turned to Regan as the other brushed past, chaos lingered beside her daughter for a moment. "If you'll come with my I'll take ytou to Mr.Montgomery."  Regan turned to Chaos. "Go on, mom.. Lexi needs you ..I'll be fine and I'd like to be alone withhim, if it's alright...?"  Chaos smiled softly and hugged her daughter. "Of course."

Regan hugged her mother back, before following the doctor toward the room where they had Eire. Auron followed Faal toward the examination room, and even as they drew close they could hear Lex arguing with a nurse. "No!" She snapped, as the nurse stood before the bed, looking exasperated and holding a small cup of medication. "It's just a pain killer." The nurse replied. "No!" Lex snapped again, huddled on the middle of the bed and glaring. "You are a very difficult woman." The nurse snarled. The pillow smacked the nurse in the face, causing her to drop the little cup of medication and she stumbled back in surprise. To be quickly caught by Auron. "If you wouldn't mind." He said calmly, but pointedly, pointing to the door. The nurse got the hint and left quickly, brushing past Faal and Chaos while muttering and shaking her head. Lex was still huddled in the middle of the bed, gripping the other pillow, she looked up at Auron. "I wanna go HOME! Get me out of here!"

Chaos cast Auron a grim smile. "Deja vu..." Auron snorted and made for the bed side. "Lexine, please..." Faal brushed past him in his rush to reach Lex. "Lexi! love.. " he said sweeping her into his arms. "I've been frantic... how do you feel?"
Lex gave a squeak and pulled away and scooted under the thin sheet, her eyes shooting to Auron. "What are you doing!? Get away .. Dad!  I want to go HOME!!"

Faal sat in shock , staring at Lex, hiding from him. From HIM! "Lex..Lexi... sweetheart... it's okay..." he said, in obvious confusion at her reaction. He reached out to stroke the hair back from her face where it stuck out over the bandages, and she flinched away, ducking further under the sheet. Faal turned to look at Chaos and Auron, his face stricken. "did .. did I do somthing..?"

Auron was quiet a moment, thoughtful a moment, then turned and looked at Chaos. He hadn't quiet wanted to believe what the doctor said, if it was true, how where they going to explain it to Lex? So he decided to put it to the test, turning back to Lex. "We'll get you home. Do you wanna go back to the house here in Scottland or your old apartment with Rowen?" He saw Lex peek from under the sheet. "What house in Scottland, what do you mean HERE in Scottland?!" She squeaked. Auron groaned. "Lex, what's the last thing you remember?" He asked. Lex was looking at him like he was crazy. "Getting out of Hell, you know..the whole door thing...and Rowen...and Knight...and well the office blowing up..." Lex answered. "You don't remember meeting Faal?" Auron asked softly, watching Lex closely. Lex  stared back at him, blinking. "Who?" Auron winced and glanced at Chaos.

Faal stumbled, catching himself against the wall. the beginings of a painful squueze on his heart starting. "Sweet Terra.. she doesn't remember me? Litte Flame..." he turned shocked eyes back to chaos. "My.. my wife doesn't remember me?"    "Wife!?" Lex squeaked  from her hiding place. "What is he talking about!? Who is he? Why does everyone keep calling me ..MRS. Dominic!?" She hissed.  Chaos cleared her throat and sat on the edge of the bed. "Lexi .. honey..." she glanced back at auron and Faal. Faal was leaning heavily on the wall and looking like he'd just witnessed a horrifying accident.. Auron was standing at the head of the bed, unsure of what to do. "Lex.. that was all almost three years ago... a lot has happened."  "THREE YEARS!?"   Chaos reached out and tried to pull the sheet  down but Lexi fought her for it and she let it go. "Lex... you fell in love and got married.. that's your husband, Faal. Take alook at your finger and you'll see the rings.. as a matter of fact.. take a look at yourself while your under there and you'll understand why the call you Mrs.."

There was nothing but silence under the sheet for a long moment, then a groan. "I've got a headache..." Lexi muttered. "Could some one please pinch me..." She muttered, still not coming out from under the sheet. Auron had to snort in ill amusement, almost missing Saffron at that moment because at least he would have done just that. Auron moved around to sat on the bed beside Lexi and finally pulled the sheet from her. Lexi squeaked and looked ready to hide under the pillows. "Lexine." Auron said calmly but in that way only a father could use. "It's all true." "Well how come I can't remember?!" She whimpered. "There was some trouble earlier, you and Eire were both hurt pretty bad, Eire really bad, he just got out of surgery, your sister, Regan is with him now." Lexi groaned, falling back against the bed, her hands over her eyes, then looked at her left hand again. "This isn't fair..." She muttered

Chaos smirked at the sudden look that past over Lex's face a moment later. " Regan?! You found her?!" Auron chuckled, and reached out a tentative hand to brush aside a piece of red hair. "Yes we found her. Well.. you found her first, actually..." Chaos smirked and held up her own left hand and wiggled her ring finger. "There's quite a bit to catch up on, Lexi.. but the most important is that your a married woman. did you notice something missing yet?"  Lexi scrunched up her nose at the words 'married woman' but smiled at Chao and her father. "You guys got married again? That's great.. really..." she said softly, her eyes kept flicking towards Faal where he was slowly slumping to the floor, his head in his hands. "Missing?" Her eyes suddenly shot open as her hand flew to her throat. "Faal removed it... "

"But...but how...?!" Lex stammered, eyes wide. "It's part of the whole long story." Auron answered. He cast a look at Faal then looked at Chaos. "Clarice, maybe you should...Let me have a few minutes alone with Lex," He nodded to Faal pointedly. Lex was still running her hands over her neck, her hands trembling now.

Chaos nodded and stood, leaning donw to place a soft kiss on the top of Lexi's head, then turned and kissed Auron as well before heading over to Faal. She knelt donw in front of him and gentley lay her hand on his shoulder, shocked at how badly he was trembling until she realized he was crying. "Faal.... come with me..." she said softly, pulling on his arm to get him to stand up.  He looked up at her, his eyes red from crying and tears still pouring donw his cheeks. "Clarice.. what am I going to do?! My flame.. doesn't know me!.. I can't lose her.. I can't.. not now, not after everything..."  Chaos stood up and pulled, preactically dragging him to his feet. "Come on.. Lexi needs to be alone with her dad for a moment.. let's you and me go get some coffee and talk, okay?" Faal nodded numbly, still muttering softly about not losing her as clarice lead him form the room with a last glance back at auron and LEx.

Lex stared after them as they left, before turning her eyes back to Auron. "I want to ask how, but I don't know if that's the right question..." She muttered. "How what?" Auron asked. "How you met him? How you ended up married to him, or how you're not a boy any more?" "How all of it! Especially that last part..." Lex muttered. Auron sighed. "Let me ask you a question, Lexi. Do you feel anything, seeing Faal like that?" Lexi shifted uncomfortably, hugging the pillow closer. "Well...yus...I mean...I think so..." She gave up. "I just don't remember him..." She muttered, suddenly feeling very misrable on it. Auron reached over, stroking her hair. "You and Faal have been through quiet a lot...and he loves you very dearly. He'd be willing to die for you." He watched Lex frown sullenly. "How'd I end up a girl?" She asked softly. "Lillian, your birth mother, you don't consider her your mother any more, you consider Clarice your mother, She was the daughter of the seal, I know you know what the Seal is..." Lex nodded. "Well you're her heir, the current daughter of the seal...and the Seal couldn't have you as a boy...it changed you...not that long ago actually...part of the reason so you could have a child..." Auron knew he couldn't be the one to tell her about her recent pregnancy and loosing the baby. Lex was quiet for a long moment, a part of her accepting all this. Then she looked at Auron. "What am I going to do now?" She muttered, tears coming to her eyes.

Chaos found a chair and shoved Fal into it then squatted donw in front of him and griped him by the shoulders. "Faal.. pull yourself together. It's hard, I know.. but Lexi needs you. She just doesn't know that at the moment." she smiled sadly and shoved his hair over his houlder so she could see his face. "We'll all do our best to help her regain her memory...and she WILL remember, Faal... in the meantime... you'll just have to win her all over again."      Faal looked at her, her words starting to sink in through the shock of it all. "your right.." he said and dragged a sleeve across his face, drying the tears. " I'm being a fool.. and over emotional fool. Lexi fell in love with me once... if she can't remember.. I just get to let her experience that all over again, right? How many women aside form you, of course.. get to fall in love with the same man twice?"

Auron touched Lex's cheek, running his thumb over a tattoo as a tear slipped. "Well for starters, we'll get you out of here...Regan'll no doubt stay with Eire for awhile..." "Are they..." "Engaged." Auron answered. Lex nodded. "Then...well you'll have to get to know Faal again...I'm serious Lexine, he loves you more than anything...hell, he killed Rowen for you at your wedding..." Lex's eyes widened. "Rowen's dead?!" "Yes, Lexine. He caused you a LOT of pain since Hell... He tried to kill you numerous times, he tried to kill Faal." Auron answered. Lex was quiet, thinking hard, cuddling the pillow closer. "Do I love him?" She asked in a whisper, finally looking back at Auron. Auron smiled, a touch saddly. "You've often said you loved him from the first time he kissed you...as I said, you've been through a lot with him, both good and bad... He's fae, Lexine, he can't live with out you..."

 Faal excused himself to find a bathroom and wash up. He wanted to make a good impression on Lexi.. and he'd already broke donw in front of her.. not excatly a good impression. The least he coud do is try to wash the tears away and maybe toss up a glamour to cover the red puffy eyes... he groaned at teh sudden thought that according to LEx's memory, Lex had never seen him as himself.. then again ..Lex had never seen him either way. He sucked in a deep breath and scrubbed at his face in the sink, a wet paper towel shredding as he scrubbed, leavign him to pick off the brown paper bits. He splashed a bit more water on then dried off. With a sigh he ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it back over his shoulders and striaghtening his jacket. His eyes caught the gleam from his ring finger and smiled softly, loking at the wedding band. He suddenly remembered their plans to adopt soon and had to catch himself before any more tears flowed. "It'll happen.. just .. not as soon as you were planning.. that's all..." he told his reflection in the mirror, then took a deepn breath and went back out to find Chaos.

Lex sighed, she couldn't sat in the bed any more. Auron watched her gingerly crawl off the bed, moving around restlessly. Three years was a lot to forget, especially considering everything Auron had told her. And now she had to get used to being a girl, when the last she remembered she'd been a boy. It wasn't that she really physically felt any different, it was just odd. With her back turned to Auron, she found herself looking down the neck of her shirt, then groaned. "Was I a girl when I married him?" She asked, dropping her hands and turning back to look at Auron. Auron chuckled. "No...most of your relationship with Faal, you were a boy...it hasn't really mattered to Faal, he loves you to much to care either way, your happiness has been the only concern to him." Auron removed his  wallet and took a photo from the civil ceremony, handing it to Lex. Lex looked at the picture for a long time. "Well I don't look like a boy there..." "No, that would be because of Jasmine, Regan and your mother, er, Clarice." Auron answered. Lex had been itching to ask how she and Faal had met, but thought perhaps it would have been better to ask Faal that himself...she was suddenly very nervous and glanced at the door nervously.

Chaos was standing out the door to Lex's room, tryng not to play with her nails too much. She'd alreay worn one thin enough to crack the edge and was now doing her best to not bite at the tear and make it worse. She gave Faal a smile as he approached her. "Well, you look better... thank god for glamour, huh?" she asked with a weak smirk. Faal her weak smirk with a shrug and weak smile. "Yeah .. good thing I'm getting the hang of my faerie abilities... big relief they're not as difficult to get a handle on as my fae abilities were..." he let his voice trail off as they stoo outside the door, feeling awkward. "Lards, I feel so nervous... this is worse then my wedding day.. the first one... the one I damn near fainted at..." Chaos chuckled. "Need a pinch? Estehl's not here but I can do it."  Faal gave her a weak smile and shook his head, glancing at the door. "How long do you thin they'll be?"

 "Ready to go?" Auron asked softly. "Anything to get out of here..." Lex muttered. "I don't suppose I've ever gotten used to hospitals have I?" She asked him. Auron snorted. "No...especially after...after you were commited to a pyschatric one for ten days...I don't really think you ever forgave me for it, but...if it hadn't been for Faal, I don't think you would have gotten out either..." Auron answered. Lex stared at him wide eyed at the simply mention of a psychatric hospital. "Why...did you have me committed?!" "You had a nervous break down, Lexine, to be sure.Xander tried to apologize and you snapped. Which by the way, Xander DID apologize and you accepted it. You and he...have been friends again. In fact, he's married to Sylvie and definitely not the same Xander you're thinking of." Lex continued to star at him wide eyed, then she shook her head. "Am I going to remember ANY of this?!" She whispered on the verge of tears again. "Eventually." Auron said softly. Or at least he hoped so. "Come on, m'petit l'une." Auron said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her toward the door. The nurse had been in with the discharge papers, they were free to take her home. The doctor appearently didn't have any idea what to do with her. "We can stop and see Regan and Eire, if you'd like." He said leading her toward door and reaching to open it. Lex frowned, wipping off her cheeks. She wanted to see Eire at least and maybe if she saw Regan she'd remember something...

Faal started at the door clicked open and he drew a deep breath as Auron emerged with Lex at his side. He froze staring into the wide green eyes. At a nudge form Chaos he reached out slowly and offered Lex his hand. "I'm sorry about earlier. Allow me to properly introduce myself. I'm Ellander Errin, Prince of Ter Nah Nog.. but everyone, including you, know me as Faal Dominic."  He held his hand as steady as he could waiting  for her to accept it, and sighed with as she hesitantly took his hand. He turned it as he boed, raising it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, blushing slightly at the look in her eyes.  "Prince?" Auron chuckled. "Yes, that's a arther recent development as well... shortly after he proposed to you, Faal discovered he was really a long lost prince... you are royalty, my dear."

"Errin...Estehl's brother?" Lex asked, leaving her hand in Faal's. It didn't really feel wrong, just awkward at the moment. "Yes." Auron answered. "His younger brother actually." Lex looked back at Faal, looking into his eyes. She felt something stir in her, looking into his eyes, but didn't really remember anything. She frowned absently and lowered her eyes. "It doesn't seem right to say its nice to meet you...if we're married..." She muttered softly. "But it is..." She added, feeling nervous again.

Faal offered a small smile. "I know how awkward this must feel for you, Lexi... it feels very strange for me as well.If thinking of being married to me is making you uncomfortable, then please,  know that .. I  won't push you into anything you're not ready for. I'm not going to expect anything form you. I would just like the chance to ...be your friend, I suppose. Let you get to know me..." he trailed off watching her face as she kept loking away then back at him again. The knowledge that she hadn't pulled her hand away yet made him feel a surge of hope.

Lex sighed, glancing down at their hands. "I suppose that's an easier way to start, with all this mess...as friends I mean..." She said softly. Auron had moved to Chaos' side and slid an arm around her waist, kissing her head. He really was hoping Lex recovered her memories. He knew they'd all help as much as they could, but he had a feeling the only one who could really make her remember was Faal. He turned to look over his shoulder at the sound of footsteps and saw Regan coming their way, wiping her cheeks off. He held out his other arm for her and she nestled herself beteen him and Chaos. "How's Eire?" Auron asked his eldest daughter softly. "Sleeping...I know the doctors say he'll be alright, but he still...looks so bad...and all those tubes and wires..." Regan shook her head, then glanced at Lex and Faal. "How's Lexi?" She asked softly. "She doesn't really remember anything of the last three years..." Auron answered softly. Regan winced.

Faal turned to Regan. "Can we see him, or are they limiting visitors?" He asked, still holding Lex's hand, unable to let go unless she did. He craved any small contact she's allow, and until she made a move to let go, he just couldn't. Regan nodded. "You can see him...like I said, he's sleeping.. they might make you go in seperately, or in pairs though... they'll tell you. " she sniffed and then pulled Lex into a hug.

Lex found herself hugging Regan back, perhaps out of the pure reason that it was Regan and she knew Auron and Chaos had been searching for her so hard. When Regan let her go, she looked at her along time, seeing how much she looked like Chaos. "I know you don't remember," Regan said softly. "And I hope you do, but you and I...we've gotten pretty close, Lexi." "What about Saffron?" Lex asked softly, she found herself still holding Faal's hand and thought perhaps would be better to finally let go, but she did so recluctantly. Auron frowned watching that. "Saffron and I are close...but we're not as close as you and I." Regan answered. She pushed a lock of hair away from Lex's face with a sad smile. "You'll remember..." She said softly. Lex managed a sad smile herself. "I hope so..." She said in a whisper. "We should see Eire..." Lex muttered, she was completely lost about what to do, or say.

Faal nodded. "Yes.. Regan, will you show us the way please?" Out of habit he offered Lex his arm, then froze remebering too late that she wouldn't remember... 

Regan turned to lead them to Eire's room, Chaos and Auron turned to follow. Lex hesitated, lingering in the middle of the hall. She just didn't know where to go. She realized, watching Regan, Auron and Chaos, that so much had changed, so much she couldn't remember, and it wasn't just where she was concerned, although obviously that was the most important. And not being who she used to be, she suddenly felt very outside everything again. Auron and Chaos looked happy together, his arm around her waist, her leaning against him, they looked happy to have Regan back. Where did she fit into all that? It was like with Saffron and Auron, how he'd got to raise him for the first nine years. Lex backed away, shaking her head, suddenly in tears. She couldn't go with them.

Faal saw Lex's eyes suddenly fill with tears and forgot everything else. He reached out gently pulling her into his arms. "Oh baby doll.. please, don't cry .. you break my heart when you cry..." he said softly, kissing her hair.

Lex tensed up, attempting to pull away. Auron had turned from Chaos and Regan and came back toward them. He caught Lex by the shoulders, just as she pulled away from Faal, staring at him wide eyed. It was all to much for her. She started, feeling Auron catch her and yelped, pulling away from him, now sobbing. "Oh please, don't!" She cried. It was the whole thing with men. She now felt even more vulnerable to her past, being a girl. She backed away from both of them before turning and running down the hall, although she had no idea where she was going. Auron started after her. "Dad no! I've got her!" Regan brushed past him, sprinting after Lexi. She caught her around the corner, just as Lex found the stairs. Lex wrenched the door open and Regan had to grab the heavy door quickly before it could swing shut. "Lexine!" Regan caught her arm gently. "Lexi, it's alright!" Lex finally stopped. "I don't know what to do..." Lex cried, she didn't know why should talk so easily to Regan. "This is all so confusing!" Regan pulled her into a hug. "Lexi...I know its confusing, but its going to be alright." Regan said softly.

Faal let his head hang, his eyes closed. "What am I going to do, Auron? She's scared and terrified... and I've always been the only one she'd turn to at times like that... I can't  NOT be there for her...."    Chaos paused, part of her wanting to comfort Faal, but a bigger part needing to be with Lexi. She patted his shoulder softly and gave Auron a look before running off after Lex and Regan.  

 "I suppose it would be less hard for her...if she were still a boy, and dealing with this but...now she's having to adjust to being three missing years AND being a girl when the last she remembered she was boy..." Auron said softly      

   Regan held Lex while she cried and looked up, hearing footsteps in the hall and toed the door open seeing their mother. "Lexi don't hold Faal's actions against him...he loves you so much, he can't stand to see you hurting..he never has been able to. " She said softly. Lex sniffled. "I just...I don't know what to do...or think...I know you all say he loves and I don't doubt that...I think...I know he does..." "Think?" Regan asked with a slight smile, wiping Lex's cheeks off.

Faal sighed and ran his hands back through his hair, holding it back as if it was a pony tail. "I hate this, auron.. it's killing me to see her .. afraid of me. It wa sbad enough when it was my own damned fault for her to be afraid of me, and I've done my best to make up for that every day of our lives together, but this.... Damn the Fates!! We were preparing to start a family, Auron! Lex wanted to head to Ireland after the honey moon and adopt a boy. A son, Auron! Why must the Fate's always fuck things up for her?!" He finished with his voice raised considerably, and several nurses turned to glare at him.

"You knew when you married her, Faal, that her life would never been simple or easy. The fates seem to have fun picking on Lexine and it's not fair. Definitely not fair to her. She's endured enough, but we both know it's not over...their little games will probably never be over until she's dead and gone from this world. But at least she's blessed with you...and her family." Auron said softly with a sigh of frustration. "I think right now, we just need to get her out of this hospital...you know how she hates hospitals..."

"I think what you need right now, Lexi, is to get out of this hospital and some where we can all just...talk...we'll all help you get through this and recover your memory, sis, you should know that." Regan said softly as Chaos joined them. Lex had stopped sobbing but was still sniffling.

Chaos cautiously slid an arm around Lex's shoulders. "Come on sweetie.. let's get you out of here. I think it's probably best if you came back to our place for now. Faal can bring you some clothes and things and you can stay in a guestroom until you remember things better."        Faal sighed and nodded. "If I could, I'd kill them for what they've done to her... I think they know that, and yet they keep toying with us." he bowed his head then looked up, flipping his hair back over his shoulders at the sound of Chaos and Regan's voices returning. They stopped at the other end of the hall and motioned for them to join them. Chaos looked at Faal. "Faal, hun ..  Lexi's gonna come stay with us for now... plenty of guestrooms after all. Can you get some things for her?" He swallowed and nooded.  "Of course... clothes, toiletries, book.." he nodded again and let his gaze settle on LEx. "I'm sorry if I frightened you, Lexi.. I didn't... " he sighed again, bowing his head in resignation, his hair falling forward in a curtain again. "I'm sorry. I'll see you in a little bit then." he said and turned to go, checking his pockets for the car keys..

Lex felt the need to stop him...at least to explain...explain what she didn't know. She reached out tentively, touching his arm. "You didn't scare me...its just that..." She didn't know and trailed off, biting her lip. She was biting it so hard, she expected to taste blood soon. Part of her wanted to with him rather then Regan and her parents.

Fal turned back to her with a small smile and placed his hand over hers where it lay on his arm. "It's okay. I should've known better then to rush things like that. It's a bad habit of mine where you're concerned. I always tried so hard to take things slow so you'd be comfortable... but I just couldn't seem to stay away from you.." he carefully reached out and stroked her cheek breifly. "I know you don't remember me at all, and this must scare the hell out of you to wake up and find an entirely different life waiting for you... I'll try not to get in the way and make things harder for you, Lexi.. but I won't dissapear.. I love you too much to walk away from you with out trying." he smiled softly and gave her hand a gently pat on his arm. "I'll meet you at your parents ina little while.. I  just have to pop out to the cottage and get your things."

Lex looked up at him, into his eyes and nodded slowly. The feeling from earlier stirred in her again, that this was all meant to be, her married to him and a girl, it really all felt right, but all some one elses life at the same time. "I'll...I'll see you then...and...we can talk..." She said softly.
Fal smiled and gave in to the urge to give her cheek one more brush with his fingers before pulling away. "yes... then we can talk." He removed her hand from his arm and raised her fingers to his lips for a kiss before turning and heading off donw the hall. Chaos slid her hand into Auron's and with a sigh, opened a portal back to their apartment. "Let's go, girls.. we'll come back and see Eire when he wakes up."

"Alright, but not for long, I'd rather get back here before Eire wakes up." Regan said, an arm still wrapped around Lexi's shoulders. Lexi was still watching Faal leave and Regan had to tug gently on her shoulders, to get her to move. She sighed and let Regan lead her into the portal.

Faal slid into the car and rested his head against the steering wheel for a moment to collect himself. " Lexi needs you to be strong, you idiot. You've let her down too many times in the past." He sighed and looked up, starting the engine and glanced in his mirror. He smirked. "First date jitters all over again... lovely.." He pulled out of the lot and quickly raced back to the cottage to gather some of her things.       Chaos leaned against Auron, his hand held tightly in hers as they emerged into their living room and they watched Lex look around. She realized She didn't have any memory of this building or any of the new people.. she wouldn't even remember the archives...  She sighed. "Welcome home, Lexi..."

"Three years here?" Lex asked softly as Regan emerged. "Pretty much." Regan said. "You and Faal had an apartment here...but...once you got engaged you guys gave it up, since he has the house outside of town. And the cottage in Scottland." Lex moved slowly around the livng room, taking in the things that reflected both Chaos and Auron. "What happened to the apartment I had...with Rowen?" Lex asked softly, looking back at them. "It burned down, Lexi. Most everything in it, went with it..." Auron answered. Lex blinked, slightly wide eyed. "My books?" Auron shook his head. "But that's okay." Regan said slightly cheerful. "Cause Faal gave you all his.." She offered a smile, but could see Lex was distracted by the thought of her books burning.

 "Can we do the tour thing later?" Lex asked softly. "I just...I've got so many questions...and no idea where to start..." She muttered. "What ever you feel comfortable with, Lexi." Auron said from his spot. 'You should eat, Lexi." Regan said. "I'd stay to make you something, but I kinda wanna get back to Eire." She glanced at her mother. "If you don't mind..." "What kind of questions do you have, Lexi?" Lex was silent a moment, she'd spotted a coloring book and crayons near by and was staring at them a moment. "I suppose I have a lot of questions for...for Faal..." She answered in a whisper. "He'll be back soon enough to answer them." Regan said, heading for the door. "If he's smart, he'll probably stay in a guest room, so you'll have plenty of time to ask him." She said with a smile.

Chaos smiled at her eldest daughter. "Of course. I'm sorry to drag you away from him. Give him our love when he wakes up and let him know we'll come soon, will you sweetie?" Regan smiled and rolled her eyes at the 'sweetie' . "Sure mom... I'll see you all later. Lexi..don't worry, okay? It'll come back... go eat."    Lex scrunched up her nose in answer as Regan turned and reopened the portal.  Chaos gave Lex a gentle push towards the couch.. "Go on.. your dad can start answering some of them while I get you something to eat."       Faal set the suitcase beside the door then turned and grabbed a couple changes of his own clothes, tossing them in a bag. Ontop he set Lex's favorite book, the one he'd given her on their first date... the only survivor of the fire that destroyed Lex's old apartment. Not only was it her favorite book, but it was both a comfort object and a good luck token for her. finished he turned and made a quick tour through the house, making sure everything was locked and set, then opened a portal.

Lex slid on to the couch, picking a stray thread, silent a moment. She felt Auron sat down next to her, but didn't look up just yet. "I suppose...I should ask about the others...Nate and Aiyla for one..." She said softly finally. Auron smiled slightly. "Married, with twins, Michael and Maya." Lex smiled slightly, still picking at the thread. "I'm not surprised really...they still part of Chaos Inc?" "Of course. You think Nate would be anywhere else?" "And...obviously Eire and Regan...wait...what happened to Fairlen?" Lex looked up finally. "She...died..about two years ago..." Auron answered softly. Lex blinked, feeling tears at that.

Faal set the suitcase in the red room.. Lex's favorite guestroom and the one they tended to use when they needed to. He considered taking the adjoining room and finally gave in, setting his bag on the bed and removing the book.with a sigh he turned and headed for the elevator.       Chaos quickly made a sandwich and poured a glass of juice and returned, setting it on the coffee table in front of Lex, then sat beside Auron.

Lex hadn't realized how hungry she was, until she saw the sandwich. She tore a small piece off to start with, munching on it as she considered her next question. "And Saffron?" She asked finally. Auron had to snort amused. Lex looked up at him with an innocent, and quizzical expression. "Saffron is still Saffron. Although he's offically engaged to Alandra now." Auron answered, watching her. "What about...Xander..." Lex asked softly. Auron glanced at Chaos.

"Xander saved your life one night.. actually he's helped do that more then once, but needless to say, he's not the same jackass he seemed to be when he first arrived here. He's officailly part of the team and him and Sylvie are married and just had a baby boy, Bastin." she said, slipping her hand into her husbands. "Lexi!" a voice squeaked as the front door opened and Devin came racing in, Sienna on his heels. Devin jumped on the couch next to Lex and grinned at her as he gave her a hug. He frowned slightly as he looked at the bandage wrapped around her head and turned to look at his parents. "I'm sorry...I didn't think anyone was home yet.. we were just coming to get another of his books.." Sienna said and smiled at Lex. "Hi Lex. You okay?"   Auron cleared his throat."Actually, No, sienna.. Devin.. Lex was hurt really bad and she can't remember anything form the past few years... but we're going to help her remember." Devin frowned even more then plopped donw beside Lex and cuddled next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

Lex looked at Devin, the last she'd remembered him, he was  a toddler. She could see living with Chaos and Auron had been good for him too. She smiled warmly to him, touching his hair affectionately. Then something seemed to flash in her mind, a sudden overwhelming feeling of loss, something both personal and important to her and she gasped sharply, more tears coming to her eyes.

Chaos reached out and and lay ahnd on Lex's shoulder. "What's wrong, Lexi.. did..did you remember.. something?" she didn't want to say anything about the miscariage unless Lex remembered on her own, and she rather hoped Faal was with her at the time...      There was a soft knock at the open door where Sienna still stood awkwardly and Chaos turned to see Faal standing there, book in hand. "I hope I'm not intruding.."

Lex shook her head, furiously, eyes closed against the tears. "A feel...of loosing something...very important..." She said in a whisper. Auron winced. He knew he couldn't be the one to tell her about the miscarriage either, and he hated to think of how hard she was going to take it when she did remember. Once was bad enough. Lex heard Faal's voice, and with her eyes closed, something about it seemed so much more familiar and comforting. She opened her eyes looking toward the door, wiping her cheek off with the back of her hand.

Faal swallowed and Chaos smiled over at him encouragingly. "sienna, hun. thanks for looking after Devin.. he's fine with us now."  sienna looked at each of them in turn then nodded and slipped back out the door. Faal stepped inside and closed the door behind him and made his way around to the couch. after a moments hesitation he sat down beside Lex and handed her the book. "Here... I though you might like to have this with you."

Lex wiped her other cheek off and looked at the book. It had no name on the hard back leather cover or the spin, but something peaked her curoisty and she took it, opening the book, she saw on the front inside over, the author's name and gave a little squeak, turning the pages to check for sure with the title page. "Is it mine?" She asked in a slightly breathless whisper.

Faal chuckled. "Of course. I gave it to you one Valentine's Day three years ago along with a dinner request.. you accepted both and here we are." he smiled sadly, spreading his hands.

"Do you always give expensive gifts?" Lex asked softly, looking at him. "You're not the only one obsessed with books." Auron said softly, watching them. "Its just that...this book...this printing especially, is very hard to find...' Lex muttered, looking back at the book. "There were only four hundred printed of this edition...Which makes this book very vauble...at least in a five digit price range...and with it being signed by the author...well I'd say six digit..." Lex added. Auron shook his head, slightly amused. Lex's obsession with rare books was at least still intacted.

"I know.. I bought it, after all. If it makes you fel anybetter, I didn't buy it for you ... I already had it in my collection. I gave it to you because your copy was in terrible shape and you said it was your favorite.." he shrugged. "Books should be loved as well as admired and you struck me as someone who did both and would appreciate it for what it was." he reached up to run his fingers through his hair and remembered he'd pulled it back tino a ponytail before he'd left the cottage. "Lex... I don't care about how much things cost. I have enough money that it just doesn't matter. I care about making people happy and I knew this book would make you happy. That's all that mattered to me."

She looked back at the book. "It is my favorite...it was the first book I ever bought...which I suppose is why the copy...I had before was in such terrible shape...I got that one from a second hand book store..." She said softly. She snatched up the forgotten glass of juice, drinking most of it, perhaps for something to do other then stare at the book in her lap. "Is that how we met? Over books?" She asked softly.

Faal laughed softly. "Something like that... we both share a rather dangerous habit.. read walking. We walked into eachother at the office. Literally. Well, you walked into me.. I managed to catch you. That's how I discovered your favorite book." he said nodding to the one in her lap. "The next day I sent the book and a rose along with the dinner invitation to the office."

"I've always done that...read walking..." Lex said softly with a faint smile. Then looked at him. "Do I still do that?" She asked. Auron looked at Chaos, than silently nodded to the kitchen, indication they should give Faal and Lex some time to talk alone.

Faal chuckled. "The last time I looked, yes. You've made it your habit to walk the archives while reading. you say it keeps everyone on their toes because they never hear you coming."    Chaos smiled and quietly stood pulling Auron along with her. She doubted Lex even noticed they'd moved as the redhead's eyes never seemed to leave Faal.

"The archives?" Lex asked softly, scrunching her nose. Auron and Chaos slipped into the kitchen, unseen and unheard by either of the other two. Auron leaned against the counter, sliding an arm around Chaos' waist.

Faal smiled and turned slightly to face her, folding one leg beneath him. "the Archives are your home away form home. You run them. When we moved into the new building, we decided to move all our information sources to a central archive. Sylvie decided you should be the one to run it and you've done a remarkable job of it. It was with great difficulty that I convinced you to leave them to come on our honeymoon, and I believe I only succeeded then because I said we'd make plenty of stopp overs at my various collections to pack them up and ship them back here."        Chaos wrapped her arms around her husbands neck and smiled softly up at him. "did you see the way she looked at him? She remembers something.. not memories so much as feelings... that's a start..."

"We haven't been married that long, have we?" Lex asked, looking at him. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. The more she looked at him...talked with him, the more that feeling that had stired back at the hospital became stronger.       Auron smiled slightly. "I suppose it helps that she's always been empathetic. She's relied on her feelings stronger then any one I know. But I think when Devin hugged her...she felt the loss of the baby.."

Faal smiled sadly. "No. I would've asked a long time ago, I'm sure, but... I made a mistake that wound up costing us two years together. the night I retruned I asked you to marry me.. right after I freed you from .. HIM, and damn near killed myself in the bargain." he smirked, sure he was blushing slightly at the memory. "To answer your question, no.. we've only been married just over four months. We’d just begun to start planning  a family just under a month ago.."

Lex sat there, staring at him for a long moment, not saying anything. She had a rush of feelings and thoughts suddenly mixed together. She had the urge to reach over and touch his cheek "Planning a family?" She asked in a whisper.

Faal smiled sadly. "Yes...we were expecting a baby.. briefly... but there was a.  an accident and we lost him. You wanted to go to Ireland and see about adopting a boy after the honeymoon. We were going to go in a few days." He reached out his hand and softly laid it ontop of hers.

She understood the feeling she'd gotten when Devin hugged her. She didn't quiet remember, but she understood. And she looked away with tears in her eyes. She expected herself to react in a different way to the news that she'd been pregnant, but it made to much sense to her. She felt the warmth of his hand and looked back at him, looking at him again a long moment. It didn't seem fair that she couldn't remember some one who obviously loved her so much.

"If any of this is too much for you, Lexi... just say so and I'll talk of something else until your ready..." He said softly, his gaze dropping down to Devin who was cuddled on her far side and showed no signs of leaving.He smiled softly and reached out to gently stroke the boys hair. "We know we will have a daughter at some point, but .. Callum took us by surprise..."

Lex had almost forgotten about Devin and turned slightly to look at him. She remembered he'd been responsible some how, in a way for Chaos and Auron remembering each other and she gazed at him for a moment. "You'd think all of this would take me by surprise..." Lex muttered absently, closing her eyes a moment. "But none of it...feels surprsing...or wrong.."

He watched her sitting there with her eyes closed and wanted to kiss her so badly. He reached out and lightly brushed his fingers against her cheek. "You are so beautiful... I never get tired of looking at you..."

Lex opened her eyes suddenly at those words, looking up at him. She knew that in the time they'd probably been together he'd said those words and things like it to her all the time, but because she couldn't remember him and they time together, the last person she'd heard that from was Rowen, and it had been a lie. She stared at Faal slightly wide eyed and remember Auron had told her in the hospital that Faal had killed Rowen. "Dad said...you killed Rowen..."

Faal nodded. "Yes, I did. I should have found you years before I did, Lexi. As your Guardian, it was my job to protect you, and I failed in that and Rowen made your life a living hell. Once I did find you , I did my best to protect you from him and others like him, but he always seemed to find a way to hurt you. The day of our wedding, he was there. He waited until after we'd been pronouced man and wife and then challenged me to a duel. It was his intention to take away the one thing that made you happy.. me. He didn't count on my being the better swordsman. nor on my having the death elemental as my best man to make sure he stayed dead..."  he looked up into her eyes. "I don't regret it, Lex. I'd do anything to keep you safe form harm. and harm was all Ravenscourt ever meant you."

Lex looked away, staring down at the book in her lap. "He was all I ever knew for so long..." She muttered softly. "He made up my whole world after escaping Abadon..." She wasn't sure what she felt about knowing Rowen was dead, or about the fact that it had been Faal who'd done it. The last thing she remember concerning Rowen was the battle he'd engaged her in, in hell...where she'd know he'd wanted to kill her.

Faal took the book gently from her and set it on the table then took both her hand in his. "Lex, this is very hard for me. It took me a long time of telling you how much I love you and how much you mean to me to get you to let go of Rowen's ghost and accept it from me as real. But if I must do that again to have you in my life, I will. Glady. I love you with all my heart and soul and the world knows it. they can see it every time we're together because I can't keep my eyes off you. And when we're alone I can't keep my hands off you, but that's another story.." he chuckled softly, a faint blush creeping into his face. "you're my world, Lexine. I'll do wjhat ever it take to help you remember. Lexi, my little flame." he said softly and released one of her hands to gentlystroked her cheek.

Lex looked at him, alightly incredious expression "And it's never bothered you...my past...being a slave?" She asked, her tone was slightly cold, not even sure why she was getting defensive. Her gaze slipped from his face, she was lowering her eyes to look at her hands, or anything else, when her eyes stopped at his neck, seeing the scar, and for a moment, she had a brief memory of struggling with her own collar, desperate to get it off, her hand pulled away from his, going to her own neck.

Faal sighed as she pulled her hand away. "Lex.. I know all about your past.. more then you've ever told anyone I believe, and no, of course it doesn't bother me. My own life has been... decidedly unpleasant at times. That never bothered you either." he said softly then noticed her staring at his neck while touching her own and remembered. He reached up and stroked a finger along his scar. "I got this from an iron collar while I was a slave to the goblins. Iron doesn't go well with fae blood... "

Her hand left her own neck and she tentively touched the scar. She could remember despertly trying to claw the collar off her neck, She could remember him being there or near by, She remember struggling with the pain, and knowing Abadon was furious, but she couldn't remember WHY she'd wanted the collar off so badly, or how it'd come off. Then she remembered him putting the dagger in her hand, but she wasn't sure if it was before or after, but she could remember the feelings. Lexi stared at him wide eyed, trying to make sense of the scattered memories.

"Lexi.. sweetheart.. are you okay?" Faal asked, concerned over the look of confusion and fear that seemed to be fighting for control of her. "Maybe we should talk about something else... I don't  want to upset you..." he swallowed nervously, loving the feel of her gentle touch on his throat, but knowing if he made any move at the moment he could scare her off again. It was so hard sitting here with her seeing that stricken look on her face when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss it away...

"The collar..." She muttered in a whisper. "Why did it come off...I remember trying despertly to get it off...but not why...and the dagger..." Her hand hadn't moved from his neck, but it trembled. She looked up at him in confusion, over come by the feelings from the memories. "I can remember know Abadon was mad...he's still mad..."

Faal sighed and this time reache out and gently took her other hand, leaving the one at his throat. "Lex...I was a Guardian of the pheonixe stone.. as well as your guardian. I knew I couldn't be both, but I didn't resign from the one fast enough and i was pulled away from you because of it. Two years i spent trapped in a cave with no way to contact you and let you know what had happened to me. and for two years you believed I was dead and that you were alone again. When I got free and came back to you..." he sighed, looking down at her hand in his. "We made up, Lexi.. we were going to be okay, or so I thought. When I woke up, you were sitting down stairs talking about leaving me.. giving yourself up to Abadon. I couldn't let you. I handed you the dagger and told you to just kill me if you
were going to do that, because i'd be as good as  dead anyhow... and the collar.. well... I paniced. I couldn't bare the thought of you leaving. I knew I would die without you, so I poured every last bit of magic and power I had into the one thing you would always have with you. That way, you'd always have me with you...." he gave a wry snort. "Of course, it didn't work that way.. instead  my magic and our love somehow managed to break the lock and free you.. and you stayed with me... agreeing to marry me, even though I was completely powerless for quite sometime. Hell, I couldn't even sit up without help for two days!" He looked up into her eyes, his grip tightenly slightly on her fingers. "Lexi... Abadon has no hold on you anymore. I freed you from the collar, and I blocked him form your dreams.. and I helped you find the strength to fend off his attacks on you. And when the time comes, I will face him and defeat him, Love. I swear I will."

Lex shook her head, looking away. She felt the prickle of more tears and closed her eyes. And she couldn't sat there any more. It was all just to much for her to comprehend all at once. She left her hand in his, but dropped the one from his neck. "You made a very powerful enemy.." She muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Faal laughed softly. "Sweetheart.. that's the only kind I have ever had.. and I'm still here. I'm not afraid of fighting him to keep you safe, Lexi.. the only thing that frightens me is losing you.. and I'll die before I let that happen." he reached out to gentley carress her face, turning her to lok at him. "I'm not exactly a push over myself you know. I can handle him. My mother was the one who originally sealed him away... it's my job to see him sealed away again, if not destroyed outright."

Lex looked at him, wishing so much she could remember everything about him. She spent all that time with Rowen, wishing despertly that the bastard had really loved her. And now she had a man who loved her so much he was willing to die for her and she couldn't remember ANYTHING about him. She looked down at her left hand, with the wedding rings, studing them. The engagment ring it's self was a beautiful ring, delicate looking. But she was having trouble imagining herself married, with everything in her past, had she really gotten over it enough to happy...

"Lexi.. would you like to go somewhere else? We can take a walk... I could take you down to the Archives, or... or out to our house here in town... I can even take us to our place in Scotland if you'd like.. anywhere.. just tell me where you'd like to go and we'll go." he said softly, stroking her cheek softly with his thumb, a part of him waiting for her to pull away again, while the rest of him prayed she wouldn't.

She turned her head away from his hand, unused to the gentle touch. She sighed frustratedly. "I don't know..." she muttered. "I suppose you should so me the archives..." She answered.

Faal let his hand drop with a sigh and nodded as he stood up. He reached down and gently pried Devin off of Lex. "Come on, little brother-in-law... you're going to have to let go of her for a bit, alright? I promise I'll take good care of her."  he said softly, squatting down in front of Lex as he spoke to Devin. The little boy looked up at Lex then gave her a hug, wrapping his arms around ehr neck and planting a kiss on her cheek before turning and jumping form the couch into Faal's arms. Faal gave a startled 'ummf!" as the boy landed on him, knocking him back on his heels. He chuckled as he stood up, Devin in his arms. He gave the boy a grin as he recieved a kiss on the nose. "Thank you .. I think... why don't you go tell your mom and dad  that i'm taking Lexi donw to the archives,  okay?" Devin nodded and lept down, heading for the kitchen at a run. Faal chuckled softly and turned back to Lexi, holding out his hand to her. "Shall we go?"

Lexi watched Devin run off toward the kitchen, then turned back to Faal. Hesitating a moment, she took his hand, standing up.

Faal smiled as she took his hand and he pulled her gently to her feet. "I'm afraid neither of us have our pass cards to get us inside, but I'm sure whoever's on duty inside will take pity on us. " he chuckled softly as he led her out of the apartment and to the elevator. He pointed out the other apartments and told her who's they were as they waited for the elevator then rode donw to the third floor in awkward silence, Faal still holding her hand, almost afriad to let go. When they reached the archives he pressed the buzzer and waited. "yo... what's up?" came a bored voice form inside." Faal chuckled. "Surprise inspection, open up." He was chuckling softly as the door opened to show a startled young blonde man. "I'm sorry, Mr. Dominic.. Mrs. Dominic! I didn't realize you guys were back yet! " " Relax, Toby, I was only joking.. we're just looking around and neither of us brought our cards, please.. go back to what you were doing."  The blonde nodded, glancing curiously at the bandage on Lex's head, but wandered back to a desk buried under boxes of papers where he resumed scanning documents onto his computer.

Lex paused, inside the room. There were several glass climate controlled locked shelves full of rare and antiquian books, which all seemed very familiar to Lex. Without a worf she began wandering along the shelves, looking at the books. She stopped at the case with the oldest books. There was a keypad on the door and she stared at it a long moment, before reaching up with her free hand and punching in the code, there was a slight hiss and the door opened. She smiled slightly, at being able to remember that at least. Then all the other codes came back to her and she giggled nervously, letting go of Faal's hand, to shut the case door before moving to the other shelves and doing the same, entering the codes to see the doors open, before closing them.

Faal chuckled softly, watching her. He felt his heart leap at the knowledge that some of her memory at least was returning... "When Sylvie asked you to take over this place, we were sure we'd never see you again. " he laughed softly as he walked beside her. "You spent every free moment in here, getting everything just right. and every moment you weren't here complaining about what a mess it was. "

Lex shut the last cabinet door, and turned to look at him. "This many books...its a wonder you ever got me out of here.." she said softly. She noticed they were all in an order she would have put them in and was impressed by her own work.

He chuckled again as he gave her hand a gentle squueze. "I told you .. I had to promise even more books in return. No doubt most of them are sitting here waiting for you to take care of them. no one would dare touch new aquistions without you." he said smiling then chuckled as he remembered the nickname someone had started ages ago when the archive was first started. " They used to call you the 'book nazi' ... i suppose that says somethign about how fiercely protective you are of them."

She smiled softly, looking back at the books, she could imagine who started that name. "So I've gone from wandering the halls not doing anything, to this...Not bad..." She said softly, still smiling slightly.

"Not bad?! Babydoll, this place exists because of you. If you hadn't taken charge of it it would've fallen  apart as a bad idea years ago." he said, running a finger along the case beside him, looking over the books inside. "You know, I can remember buying almost everyone of these... that's the only thing my memory is actually good at remembering.."

Lex turned her eyes on the books. "I suppose...books do that...they demand a certain attention and respect...especially rare and antiquian books...they're all a piece of history in their own way..." She said in a thoughtful whisper.

Faal looked to her with a smile and chuckled softly. "Yes I know... who's collection do you think you're taking care of here? " he asked softly, leaning back against the corner of a cabinet, and waved a hand around at the books surrounding him as she turned a shocked look to him. "Every book, manuscript, scroll, ledger and tablet within these walls came from one of my collections at some point. I traveled everywhere to get them. This is the first time ever they've been under one roof together... and I couldn't ask for a better caretaker for them."

Lex found herself looking at the books again, only seemingly in a different eye. "There's so many..." She muttered softly, still staring at the books, she'd already seen some she knew where worth hundreds of thousand dollars. Some so rare they were the only copy or one of only three or four copies.

"I've had a long time to collect them... many of them were purchased brand new for next to nothing..." he chuckled softly.

She turned to give him a look. "Do you have any idea..." She trailed off, shaking her head, remembering that he was fae. "There are collectors who would kill for some of these books." She said softly, starting to move down the row again.

"There are some who have tried." he answered lightly, walking beside her. "They've all discovered just how protective I am of things that are important to me... and I've never lost a single book. The only book that has even entered my collection and left it again.. was the one I gave you."

"If we're married...wouldn't the book techincally still be in your collection?" She asked softly, wondering if he was as protective of her as he was his books.

Faal chuckled. "But we weren't married when I gave it to you..." he said softly. "And no, because I don't have a collection any longer....WE do. All these, plus more that haven't arrived yet.. are yours, Lexi."

Lex shook her head, as she slipped around the end of a row. She leaned against the shelf. "Don't tell me that now, please...it's to much..."

Faal stopped looking down at her. He brushed aside a lock of red hair that had escaped the bandage and smiled softly at her. "I'm sorry." he said and sighed, pulling away from her. "I'm sorry... I'm trying to remember you don't know me.. but all I want to do is take you in my arms and make everything go away. It's very hard trying to remember I can't sweep you off your feet and kiss you just to see the look on your face or hear you giggle...."

Lex sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Not nearly as hard as having some unknown part of me wanting you to do just that...and yet..." She sighed again, even more frustrated.

Faal turned and walked back to her, looking down at her. He stood there just looking at her, wishing there wa some way he could help her remember... his face lit up as a sudden thought occured to him, and he grabbed Lex around the waist, lifting her off her feet and twirling her around. "I got it! the damned link!!" he said setting her back on her feet, his hands encirling her waist. "I can use the link to help you remember.. !"

Lex stared at him wide eyed. "What are you talking about?" She asked in a whisper, staring up at him.

Faal laughed softly. "A short while ago we were in Ter Nah nog.. long story, anyhow we forged a mental link between us.. it faded to be mostly one sided, but, I bet I can use to help you remember! Terra, I hope I can ... I don't know how much luck I've had sending you thoughts and images.. you never tell me..." he said letting his voice trail off for a moment before turning back to her with a grin, his eyes sparkling. He stood there loking down at her for a moment before giving in and catching her lips with his, one hand sliding up to cradle her face.

Lex's eyes widened behind the kiss, but she didn't quiet pull away. Instead she found one arm slipping around Faal's neck, and her eyes finally fluttering closed.

Faal felt her arm slip around his neck and smiled into the kiss, letting the link open and reaching through. He felt something blocking him, as if Lex had put up a wall between their minds and he growled softly in annoyance then deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up to tangle in her hair. At the same time he felt her knees buckle the barrier flickered and he reached through, trying to find a way to help her...

She could have fallen into the kiss, if certain things, certain terrible moments hadn't flashed through her mind and she suddenly pulled away from him, remembering the incident connected to the bet that had been with aiyla, his words. She stared at him, starting to tremble again. It was as if some one else had wanted her to remember that moment in particular.

Faal gasped as she pulled away but maintained his hold on the link. "It's okay..Lexi... remember,,, good and bad, sweetie... Let it come.."

"The good and the bad?!" She demanded in a whisper, then shook her head, turning away. "The only thing I AM remembering is the bad!" She snapped.

Faal  sighed and reached out grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back against him, wrapping his arms around her. "It's there, baby.." he said softly, kissing her ear. "You're scared and that's all that's coming through.. let me help you.. please love..."  he tried again, searching for the key to unlocking her memories.. instead he found the night he proposed... the civil ceremony... the  royal wedding...

Lex held a hand to her head, shaking it slightly, remembering those things, but not really grasping them, something seemed to keep her from grasping them as hers. She felt those could be any one else's memories...

Faal felt her confusing and sensed that he was failing. with a sigh he let go, letting the link close back up. "I ..I'm sorry, Lexi... I can't make it work the right way.. I can find them, but I can't... give them back to you..." he slid down the wall and sat down, his knees drawn up before him. "I'm sorry... forgive me please..I had to try... " he crossed his arms  over his knees and rested his head against them, his head buzzing from the attempt.

Lex leaned up against a shelf, eyes closed for a moment, then sighed deeply. "No...it's not your fault I can't remember..." She said in a whisper, tears slipping past her closed eyes. Then she turned to look down at him. With out a word, she moved over, settling down beside him, staring up at the ceiling.

Faal looked up and glanced at her for a moment and realized again that this was far more hard on her then it was on him. He leaned back and closed his eyes. "Our first date we went to the library for one of their new rare book aquistion readings... after that we drove and talked and drove and atlked some more until we finally stopped and had dinner. I have never been so open with anyone, especaily the first day of being around them... but it didn't matter... I had already fallen head over heels for you . I started the moment you slammed book first into me in that hall..." he said quietly, smiling softly at the memory, but feeling the beginning of tears prickling behind his closed eyes. He was starting to wonder if all he would ever have were memories of how things used to be...

Lex was silent, sitting next to him, still staring up at the ceiling. She raised a hand to the bandage on her head, picking at the tape that held it. She was trying very hard to remember how they first met. So when she suddenly did, she let out a squeak.

Faal's eyes snapped open and he looked donw at her. "Lexi?! What's wrong..  did I do something ?.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." he started to slid away fomr her, thinking he'd been too close and had made her uncomfortable..

"No..no its not that..." Lex replied hurriedly. "I just...remembered how...we met..." She answered softly, turning her head to look at him, smiling softly. "I remember you asking about the tattoos...under my eyes..." She hadn't seen her reflection yet, so she assumed she still had them. She didn't even know if she looked any different as a girl.

Faal smiled and reached out to brush a finger over the tattoos. " You looked so incredible.. and you vanished the first chance you got.. I thought I'd frightened you off by being so bold..."he said softly.

"I think...you did..." She answered softly, and realized she was blushing. "I'm so shy...or was..." She added. "Men who paid me attention usually had the wrong intentions...how was I suppose to know..." she whispered.

He let his smile slip away as he reached out to carress her cheek. "But you know now..." he said softly, then smiled sadly and leaned back again. " After dinner, through which we talked every moment we weren't busy eating, I took you home and walked you up to your apartment... I stood there looking donw into those gorgeous green eyes and I asked if I could have your permission to act compleetely juevenile, or something along that line .." he chuckled softly, closing his eyes again, reliving the memory as he talked.

"I suppose that would've been when you kissed me...the kiss I've been told where I realized I loved you..." Lex said in a whisper. She felt the tears again, the sudden strong wish and desire to remember that kiss, more then all the simple stuff, perhaps more then any of it. If she could remember it, she could remember she loved him and had the childish hope that maybe she'd remember everything else, but she didn't think it worked like that. She suddenly wished she didn't remember ANYTHING about her life, not just three missing years which most of it must have been something good, but none of her life at all and maybe she wouldn't feel so misrable right now.

Faal reached back and yanked the ponytail free, letting his hair spill loose over his shoulders as he wrapped the ribbon idly around his fingers. He didn't know what made him pull it back to begin with. He'd just seen Lexi's ribbon beside the bed and had grabbed it. He rarely pulled it back anymore..ever since Lex had told him how much she liked it loose... He looked donw at the length of black ribbon as he played with it.  "I wish I could tell you that we were happy together from the start and that everything was great between us, but that would be a lie. Oh we were happy together, for the most part. Neither of us felt whole without the other one there.. but we had our problems too..."

"No couple is perfect." Lex answered softly. "I suppose what matters is if you can make it through those problems..." She said, remembering the memory she'd had earlier, from the bet incident. "I think that really is the most important thing, knowing you can get through even the worst together...I suppose this is just one more thing to get through..." She added. But she wondered if it'd ever be the same between them. She found herself wanting to know if she was really in love with him now. She felt so comfortable with him for the most part...so protected.

Faal took a deep breath. "Lexi... if you don't remember me.. and if you decide you don't or .. can't love me again..." he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment  then finished. "I ..I just want you to know that... I'll still make sure you're taken care of. The Archives, the books the houses...everything Lexi.. It's all yours. None of it means anything without you, so..." he sighed and rolled his head back, bumping it against the wal.."Damn that sounded so wrong..."

Lex looked at him, with a wide eyed innocent expression only she was capable of. "What do you mean, you'd make sure I'm taken care of?" She asked in a breathless whisper. "Just because I can't remember you...doesn't mean..." She stared at him.

He kept his eyes closed. "Lexi... can you remember any more of the night I removed your collar?" he askled softly.

"I,,,I can remember you being there..." Lex answered in a whispered, looking at him, "Mostly I remember trying despertly to get it off, and the feelings..."

"I.. nevermind.. you don't need to know, love. Let's just say I mean that, even if you decide you don't wnat me in your life, I'll take care of you. However I can."  he said softly, not wanting her to know the truth. If she knew losing her love would probably kill him, she migh feel trapped...

Lex looked at him with innocent confusion, trying to read him, to understand. "I haven't said or decided I don't want you in my life..." She said. "I just..." She shook her head, looking away finally. "I'm trying very hard to remember loving you..."

"Lexi... I just meant..." he sighed and shook his head. " Never mind. I'm sorry if I'm confusing you... I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you'll be okay. You have a huge family that loves you, and  tons of friends... you have a job you love and are amazing at..." He smiled sadly. "You'll be fine." he said and a tear slid donw his cheek as he finished his thought to himself...*even without me*..

"I want to remember loving you...I really do...I feel so...at peace with you...even now...and when you kissed me a few minutes ago...it felt so right.." Lex whispered, and surprised herself, by suddenly leaning her head against his shoulder.

Faal tilted his own head to rest against hers. "What if you don't ever remember? Could you be happy just.. starting over with me? Start with what you feel now and build from there?"

Lex was quiet a long moment, leaning against him then smiled softly. "A second chance...I remember the park...you asked for a second chance..." She said in almost unheard whisper.

Faal let  the tears slip donw his face as he smiled sadly. "Yes..." he said softly. *please.. don't remember what will happen to me without you... I don't want you to live with that knowledge...* he thought to himself as heturned slightly and kissed the soft red hair beneath him. "I did ask foir a second chance... I suppose that makes this a third... actaully, I think I lost count..."

"How many chances have I asked for?" Lex asked in a whisper, looking around the room. As alone as they where, she felt like this wasn't the place to talk about this. She wanted desperatly to find something to jog her memory more, she reached to take his hand, and found the black ribbon still in his hand. Pulling it from him, she looked at it a long moment, at it's frayed ends.

Faal frowned trying to think. "I .. I don't know, Lexi. I think we've both asked too many times..." he said softly, leaning his head agaist the wall, his eyes closed He felt ehr take the ribbon fomr his fingers and made no move to stop her.. it was hers after all. "Why does this stuff always happen to us? Thing's just start looking good for us and then..boom..."

"The Fates I suppose." Lex answered softly, before using the ribbon to tie back her own hair. "Lets go somewhere else...somewhere more comfortable..." She said, turning to look at him. "Well...after I change." She looked at her jeans, noticing dried blood, perhaps from the fight that had gotten Eire landed in surgery and her with no memory of the last few years.

"Any where you want to go, Lexi." he said softly and opened his eyes to look at her. " You don't need to change... even with the bandage you look gorgeous..."

Lex snorted. "I may not need to, but these jeans are uncomfortable with all this...dry blood." She said, "What happened this morning? It was this morning wasn't it?" She asked, no one had told her what had happened, about Eire's sudden call and appearance, seeming so distressed over something, but just as he'd been about to explain a few soliders of the old illuminate showed up and it'd been chaos from there on.

Faal shook his head slightly as he stood up. "I don't know, Lex. I guess the only one who knows is Eire. I guess we'll have to wait until he wakes up to find out. but yes, it was this morning." he said and offered her his arm.

She looked at his arm, then took it. "Dad told me Fairlen died...another close friend gone..." She sighed. "I suppose I am shocked about Eire and Regan...but I do hope they're happy together..." She said softly as they headed back toward the door of the archvies. "I imagine you did bring some clothes of mine...but I have no idea where the guest rooms are.

Faal smiled softly as he led her to the elevator and down one more level. " when the doors opened he led her out into the common area, past the grouping of couches and chair. "These are the guest rooms... the offices are just down that hall.. you cut through the kitchen which also serves as the staff room, and you find yourself in the main reception.." he said stopping in front of a door with a red emblem painted on it. "This is the red room... it was always your favorite. I'm next door... we share  the bathroom so if you need me you, i'm right there..." he stood there for an awkward moment then leaned past her and opened the door. "I'll wait out here... take your time..." he said softly.

Lex nodded, looking at him a moment, before slipping into the room. She glanced about it a moment, loving the look of the room and saw the bag on the bed. She went over, opening it, shifting through the clothes, familiar boy legs with the undergarments. She noticed a lack of real bras, mostly day bras, or chamesiles. She grabbed one of those and a pair of boy legs and found something to wear. Out of curoisty she bypassed the jeans and tanks tops and tshirts and pulled out a light blue sundress that buttoned down the front, surely she didn't look THAT good as girl to get away with a sundress like this as she looked at it, it's cut was so femine, but she might as well try it on. She could always change her mind. She moved to the bathroom and turned on the light, she sat her cloths on the  counter and was just pulling off the tshirt when she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, she'd dropped the t-shirt with a started yelp, staring wide eyed. She knew she'd been feminine as a boy, but now...this couldn't possibly be her. Her fae blood made her skin creamy alabaster, her hair was more vibrant and almost down to her waist, more curly. Her eyes stood out more, greener, more luminous. But she looked so,..she supposed beautiful was the word for it. "Oh..." She muttered out loud, looking troubled. She turned part way from the mirror, to quickly change trying to ignore how much more curvy she was and had shimmed out of the jeans and grabbed her change of knickers, when she saw the tattoo on the back of her shoulder. She stopped, out of all her clothes except the boylegs and stared at the tattoo, another phoenix tattoo appearing in her mind.

Faal sat on the couch closest to her room and lay his head back, feeling his hair spill across and over the back of it. He tilted his head back to look at the door to her room behind him, then closed his eyes. He didn't know what to do. In theory, all he should have to do is talk to her and spend time with her and she should remember on her own... but they weren't that lucky.. and he believed he heards omewhere that you weren't supposed to tell amnesiacs thing but let them remember them on their own... He sighed rubbing his hands over his face then up through his hair. Oh well. He'd just do what came naturally and hope for the best, he supposed... the saem thing he'd done all along with Lex. It didn;t always work out the way he's meant.. but somehow.. it always worked out . Eventually.

Lex stared at the delicate phoenix tattoo on her shoulder, fingers touching it. At the same time in her minds eye, she saw the other, a full back tattoo, she could remember tracing it with her fingers. She suddenly had the despert need to see it again, to do the same. She quickly changed into the other pair of boylegs and the chamsile and pulled on the dress, buttoning it up. She knew it had to be Faal's tattoo, but she suddenly realized she didn't know how to go about asking to see it, but she knew the urge wouldn't leave until she did. She leaned against the counter biting her lip, and pulled the ribbon out of her hair, letting it spill about her shoulders, marveling at it's length, but the phoenix tattoo wouldn't leave her mind. With a sigh, she tied the ribbon around her wrist and left the bathroom, forgetting her shoes. Well they were in the guest rooms, maybe they didn't have to go anywhere else...She went to the door of the room, opening it.

Faal heard the door open behind him and he tilted his head back again and saw a flash of red hair emerge form the door and walk towards him. He sat up and turned to face her. "Lexi.." he gave a soft smile as he watched her walk closer. "I told you .. you get more and more breathtaking every time I see you..."

She bit her lip, looking at him. "Thank you..." She muttered softly, then asked softly. "Can we...step back in there..." She nodded to the guest room. "There's...there's something I want to ask you, but it wouldn't exactly be proper here in the hall...I'm sure Sylvie would have a fit if she were to come by while we were doing it..." She suddenly brushed crimson, aware of how very wrong that sounded. 

Faal raised an eyebrow curiously but stood and walked around to meet her. "Of course, Lexi..." he started towards the room the stopped and turned around, a small frown on his face. "Can I ask you something first?" he aske softly and she raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Whay won't you say my name?"

Lex frowned absently as she followed him, and realized herself, that she'd yet to call him by name. "Ellander or Faal?" She asked softly as they stepped into the guest room. She closed the door behind her, looking up at him, biting her lip again, thinking she was probably going to cause it to bleed if she kept biting it like this. "You have a tattoo, don't you..." She asked softly, near a whisper.

Faal smirked at the question. "Yes.. I have two, actually. As for which name.. you've always called me Faal. That's my name."  he said, feeling a tad awkward standing in the middle of the bedroom with Lex 'guarding' the door. If it was anyone other then Lex, he would have expected to be pounced on any second...

Lex looked at the floor, moving away from the door, she started to walk toward him, than deverted her track, moving toward the bed. "Can I...see it...the one on your back..." She asked in a whisper, still avoiding using his name. She wasn't sure why, but, it didn't feel like the right moment to use his name.

Faal sighed and nodded, smiling softly. "Of course. " he said and pulled his shirt off over his head,  and tossing it onto the foot of the bed. He reached back and pulled his hair to the side, leaving his back bare. "Is that okay? Or would like me to sit down?"

Lex moved slowly toward Faal, her eyes traveling over the tattoo, which suddenly seemed so much more familiar to her, she had scant memories of tracing it while laying in a bed. She wanted to touch it again, to trace every inch of it, and decided to let her feelings run things from this moment on. Still, her hand was trembling as she reached out, her fingers slowly starting on one wing on one shoulder and she began to slowly trace it, finding herself stepping even closer to him. She ran her fingers slowly along the pattern, from one wing across to the other, before slowly starting to run down the center.

Faal closed his eyes and tried to rmember to breath as he felt the feather light touch of her fingers dance over his skin. He was suddenly very glad she hadn't asked him to sit on the bed.. he didn't think he could handle being on a bed and feeling this without taking advantage of it.

Lex was determind to let her feelings control her now, but she was rather shocked at herself, when she found herself leaning forward, and kissing his shoulders softly. She'd remembered getting her own phoenix tattoo, with Regan, and why she'd done it, for believing Faal was dead. her fingers worked their way back up over the tattoo, becoming more then just her fingers and she slid her hand upward, coming to rest on his other shoulder as she leaned her cheek against the one she'd kissed, closing her eyes, leaning against him. She breathed deeply, smelling his colonge, a comfortering scent.

Faal stood as still as he could, hardly daring to breath in case he disturbed this moment. It took even ounce of will power he had not to turn around and take her in his arms...

"Faal..." Lex whispered, the sound of his name sounding so right. "Oh Faal..." She felt the tears slip again, falling on his shoulder.

He felt his heart squeeze tightly in his chest as he heard her say his name at last and turned to face her. "Lexi, my love... please don't cry... you break my heart when you cry..." he said softly, and held out his arms to her.

Her mind wanted to keep her where she was, her heart said other wise and Lexi found herself a moment later, falling into his arms, clinging to him. "If I can't remember us before, does it matter?" She whispered through her tears, "If I can learn to love to you again, can we just...be this way?"

"If you love me, Little flame .. nothing else matters." he said softly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "I will take whatever of you you can give me. I love you too much."  he lay his cheek against the top og her head and held her, feeling his chest grow wet with her tears, but decided it was fair trade since he was getting her hair wet.

Lex turned her head to look up at him, she lifted on hand from his chest, to touch his face, carassing his cheek and jaw, trying to remind herself more of him. "I'm trying..." She whispered. "I want so much to remember everything, and I'm trying to so hard to love you. I'm trying to forget having my heart broken by Rowen...so long ago. Trying desperetly to remember I came to trust you."

He smield sadly donw at her as she stroked his face. "Don't try so hard then... relax and just let it come on it's own. I already told you it doesn't matter. you can feel something for me now.. that will grow again, like it did before. I can be happy with that, Lexi. As long as i'm with you." he carressed her waist as he spoke, then slid one hand up to her neck, cradling her headin his palm. "I'll do anything you want me to. If I do something that makes oyu uncomfortable, just say so and I'll stop. If there's something you want to do, or somewhere you want to go...  anything, Lexi. I'm yours. I always have been and I always will be."

She looked up into his eyes, gazing deeply into them. She swallowed, aware what she was about to ask might be a mistake, quiet possilby would be, or maybe not at all, but she'd never know until she asked. She took a breath, still looking into his eyes and whispered almost unheard. "Kiss me Faal...like you did the very first time...the kiss that made me fall in love with you."

He sucked in his breath as her request, his heart giving a painful doubt beat, but he smiled and caressed her face. He brough his other hand up to cup her face in both hands and just looked down into her eyes for a moment, before slowly lowering his face to hers. He looked into her eyes, just a breath away from his own and smiled, letting his lips brush slightly over hers.  He slid on hand into her hair, carefuly avoiding the bandage, while the other slipped donw around her waist again. Closing his eyes and breathing in the sweet scent of her, he moved that last fraction of an inch and met her lips with his.

She felt his lips against hers, as her eyes fluttered closed, her hands resting against his chest, she felt a something stir in her, and a soft gasp escaped her from behind the kiss, her lips parting slightly on their own as she did so, she found herself kissing him back, despert to taste his lips, craving more, loosing herself in the feeling of his lips over hers. One hand slid up his chest, wrapping around his neck, almost as if to pull him down even closer, she could hear her heart beating so loudly, wondered if he could hear it, she felt as if the room was spinning and clung to him.

With a despreate feat of will power, Faal broke the kiss and leaned back, holding her against him, trying calm his wildly racing heart. He closed his eyes, tilting his head backm his hands stroking her back and hair. "Oh... Lexi... I can't kiss you with out wanting more... it's one of my biggest weaknesses with you..." he said softly. "Perhaps we should.. go for a walk or something.. I don't think I shoud be alone with you in the presence of a bed right now.."

Lex gave a small gasp as Faal broke the kiss and as she'd predicted, she realized it'd been a mistake. Not on Faal's part, but on her own as several conflicting emotions suddenly surged through her. She wondered if amnesia was the only thing she'd suffered, as she struggled to make sense of the emotions, finding to her horror, it was a mix of love, need, sorrow, mistrust and anger. She thought perhaps hate was present as well, but knew the dark feelings had nothing to do with Faal. The feelings were a combination of everything her past, and the present, the lack of memories, and the despert need to recover them. She knew the kiss had been exactly what she wanted it to be, she knew she loved him terribly even if she couldn't remember, but with the mixture of emotions she couldn't control at the moment, she also knew she was going to say or do something stupid, part of her wanted to be left alone, part of her thought asking him to leave would be the stupid thing, she didn't know what to do and she took a shuddering gasp, trembling.

He pulled against him, wrapping his arms around her and just holding her, feeling her tremble. He didn't know what to do or say, and oddly enough, he figured she felt the same. after a moment he scooped her into his arms and carried her over to the bed, laying her down. after hesitating a moment he lay donw beside her and curled around her, pulling her into his arms. "I'll just hold you , Lexi.. I promise I won't try anything else... I .. I just need to hold you if that's okay?"

Lex curled against him, shutting her eyes. She nodded mutely, still struggling with the emotions coursing through her. Then they got the better of her and she pulled away. "No...no...I c-can't." She whimpered, rolling up to sat on the edge of the bed, silent sobs racking her body as she cluched her head, eyes still closed. "I c-can't do this...I don't even know WHAT I'm doing...I don't know what to feel..." She babbled in a whisper, between ragged sobs. She scrambled off the bed, caught between either leaving the room or fleeing to the bathroom. The door out of the room was closer and she yanked it open, half blinded by the tears but despert to get away.

"Lexi, no!" he said and lept form the bed, runnign after her. He caught her just out side the room and swept her into his arms. "Lexi, please.. don't run from me. If you want to be alone, sweet heart.. just say so...I'll leave. He set her back inside the room and pulled the door shut. He lay his forehead against the door for a moment then sighed, eye brimming with tears and went to his own room, not feeling up to seeing anyone else. He kicked off his shoes and flopped donw face first on the bed, burying his face into a pillow.

Lex practically just collasped on the floor where he'd put her, sobbing, desperate to get over the feelings surging through her. Finding some bit of energy she managed to crawl toward the bed and pulled herself onto it, curling up around on pillow still sobbing. As far as she remembered, she hadn't cryed this hard like this for a very very long time. She snatched a second pillow rolling over slightly and screamed into it, frustrated and in so much emotional pain she rather wished she could just die rather than endore any more.

Faal buried his head under the pillow as he heard her muted cries of frustration and pain. He didn't know what to do.. he wanted to go and hold her and try to sooth it away, but he was the reason she felt this way to begin with. With a sigh he stood up, slamming the pillow back onto the bed and yanked his shoes back on, then grabbed his bag, digging out another shirt. He pulled open the top drawer to the little desk in the corner and wrote a quick note, explaining why he'd left, then slipped into the bathroom to wash the dried tears off his face.

Lex was on the verge of throwing a fit, and gave in, if only to get it out and began kicking  on the bed, beating the one pillow she was clinging to, over and over again with as much as she could, still screaming into the other her face was pressed against. After a few moments of this, she gave up, emotionally drained and rolled over, staring at the ceiling of the room, wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand. She wanted..what did she want? There was a part of her that wanted her old life back. But most of her just wanted to get past this. She despertly needed some one to talk to.