You know those dreams you have.. those really weird disjointed things that are nothing more then crazy bits and pieces of really weird shit that in no way go together... that somehow do fit together and make perfect sense in the dream itself?

That dream where you're walking through a house that seems perfectly familiar but you know you've never seen before, then you open a door looking for something and instead find someone you know but don't know. The two of you are sitting in a garden having tea out of fancy paper cups with two other people you can't see but are absolutely familiar with and you feel completely at home... Then the cat tells you your pants are on fire, which makes no sense because you're not wearing pants... but you ARE wearing pants and you're walking up and down these stairs that lead in circles looking for the fire extinguisher and then you're on a boat with a pirate who's teaching you how to shoot the canon and you go to catch one of the canon balls as it rolls across the deck and you're running down the middle of mainstreet in nothing but your underwear wondering where all the cars have gone...?

You know... those kind of dreams...?

Well.. I could say that my life is one of those. I could, but I won't. Because, while it IS true in a weird twisted sort of way, it would be even MORE true... (and weird and twisted ) to say that * I * am one of those dreams.

Well... okay... not literally, because I'm not a dream... I'm real. I think... but anyhow, like I was saying, i'm just like those dreams.

I'm made up of all these crazy, insane little bits that in no way fit or work together in any way that makes sense... yet they all do and it does.

And so you have me.

Dante.

Yeah yeah... I know what you're thinking. You're sitting there, rolling your eyes as you read this and thinking that I'm just another dumb fuck up of a kid who thinks he's different from every one else and all that shit... That I think I'm the only one who's ever felt this way because I'm weird; I'm different; I'm a freak... I'm special...

Well.... I am.

Well.. not the 'just another dumb fuck up of a kid ' part. I'm different. I AM special. And yeah... I'm definately weird and a freak, but hey.. that's just part of my charm !

So what makes me so fucking special?

em>Well... Could just go with the fact that I'm half Faerie and half Demon... but.. there ARE others like that our there. Not many, true.. Faeries and Demons don't generaly intermingle... but .. eh.. shit happens.

Could go with my being royalty on both sides of the family tree... dad's a Prince of two Fae Courts, which means so am I... And mom's the daughter of the Demon Lord Chaos... and gee.. I'm the only one of his bloodline who's come into his full powers and stayed sane, which makes me his heir. Well mostly... the 'stayed sane' part that is... some people find my sanity a subject of debate...

So, my being a royal demonic faerie and heir to a throne of hell makes me special right? Sure... except granddad, the current Lord Chaos.. is also a demonic faerie, so.. the specail part only goes so far...

Hey.. I'm also a time and dimension traveller. Definately not too many demonic faeries princes running around the space time continum, now are there?

See... THAT'S my point. That's where I'm special; where I'm truly a freak. I know for a fact, that there are no others like me out there. Any where.

I bet I'll bump into a couple hundred versions of you during my travels; same parents, different life choices, slightly different you...

Not me though. I'm a Freak of Fate. There are no other versions of me out there.

My parents, while having done the nasty in quite a few worlds, apparently, only hit pay dirt once. Only once did Fate sneeze at just the wrong moment and 'oops'... there I was.

Me.

Dante Macrory.

Son of Kay Macrory and Faal Dominic, aka Prince Ellander Errin.

In damn near every other world I've come across, mom's gone by the name Clarice LaHey, with the occasional change to Clarice or Kay Mordant.. and in every world except mine, she's also been Lady Chaos, the heir to the Chaos throne.

So what happened that things went so screwy in my world?

Told you ... my theory... Fate sneezed. Well.. one of them anyhow.. or at least one... Maybe the lot of them got the hiccups or something.

Things followed the exact same path as at least half the realms out there right up until my conception.... that's when the shit hit the fan, apparently.

Fate sneezed or hiccuped, that one little intruder made it past mom's defenses and bam... there I was. Time to change the world.

Don't laugh. I'm fucking serious over here!

Mom wasn't supposed to get knocked up during her little fling with the fae, alright! She was supposed to fade into a life long friendship with him while she got the hang of her newly emerging demon powers really slowly and hook up with a few bounty hunters to become a kick ass leader and take over the Chaos Throne.... I've heard that in some worlds there's some prophecy about her blood uniting the thrones or something like that.. but prophecies are a bitch to follow. Don't get me wrong, they can be a fucking blast to watch.. but to actually DO them... forget it.

Anyhow.. like I was saying, I wasn't supposed to happen.

But I did.

And I... being me... completely fucked everything up and made it much more interesting! And that was before I was even born! See? Fucking specail!!

Mom.. being a demonic faerie herself, had been born while her mother was under a spell to conceal her faerie blood... and the spell fucked with mom's genes, so to say. So despite the fact that she was half faerie, she never knew it. She grew up believing she was a human who happened to have a demon for a dad. Just another demon half breed... nothing special.

Then one day my aunt Shada hit mom with a spell that stole five years worth of her memories, kidnapped her daughter and seperated her from her hubbie. It also fucked with her supressed faerie blood, setting in motion a ticking time bomb which started shit happening when she first came in contact with a full blooded Fae... that would be dad.

Dad, although he didn't know it at the time, was half faeire himself... a simple touch of his hand and mom was hit by a power surge that triggered her demon blood and turned her blue... the next fae brought forth her tail... and the next brought forth her wings. Turns out that all three of those fae had some faerie blood mixed in with their elven blood... Makes me wonder what would've happened if she'd first stumbled across a full blooded faerie. Oh well.. I'm sure one of these days I'll find out. It must have happened that way at least once out there somewhere...

Gee... I'm off track.. where was I.. oh yeah.

So anyhow... that's what was SUPPOSED to happen... over the course of twenty or thirty years, mom eventually came into the majority of her power and gradually come to terms with her demonself.

Note I said 'supposed to'... but it didn't.. because I changed it.

Mom met dad in the park and turned blue... the two of them hooked up in search of a way to change her back... became lovers... then I came along.

Being pregnant with a fae child provided a much more massive power boost than any old little hand holding could ever provide... only I was INSIDE ... so the changes I started were inside...

Yeah I know.. little bastard... That's me.

So outwardly, mom's the same... still blue hiding behind dad's glamours... normally it would've been a few years before she met the demon who would teach her to change on her own and subsequently met the next fae to change her outward appearance.. but ... yeah... ME again...

Mom started getting her demon abilities coming through fast and furious.. and completely uncontrolable.Thanks to me. Dad thought of his friend alot sooner and he thought of his demon friend and the time table was moved up. So now mom has a tail as well as being blue, plus she has her powers going crazy and Brendan.. the half demon, can only teach her so much... so he panics and calls for help... At the same time, mom starts getting sick... big scary deal for someone who's never been sick before.. so she calls her mom... who finds out about all the crazy stuff going on.. who in turn calls... you got it.. granddad.

Normal route... mom doesn't even meet 'Lord Chaos' until about thirty some odd years after she's started coming into her powers... by then she's already Lady Chaos and has her little company of monster hunsters going strong and is about to find herself neck deep in prophecy induced mayhem.

But I changed that.

Thanks to me screwing with mom's powers... she learned the truth about granddad a few months after first coming into her powers... and because of the utter chaos ( pardon the pun) that i'd created with her powers, he took her to Hell with him to help get things under control and teach her himself. It was right around here that she changed her name from LaHey, which was granddad's human guise name.. to Macrory.. which is his real name... The change to 'Kay' came along later....

Dad still had no clue about me. Once mom was safely in the care of grandad, dad decided there was nothing more he could do... Well.. okay, supposedly his friend, Callum, dragged him off and kept him busy so he wouldn't worry too much about mom... then he eventually moved on and that whole' friendship' part kicked in.

And mom wasn't in any shape to clue him in at the time. So dad went on his merry way, none the wiser that he was about to become a father. It was for the best, trust me. I shudder to think what might have happened if he'd known about me back then.

By the time I was born, mom was well on her way to having a handle on the whole demon thing. By the time I was two, mom decided that Hell was just NOT the place to raise me... apparently I was becoming a little terror.

Gee... go figure.

So she packed up and headed topside, deciding to look up her old demon friend Brendan and see about learning how to kick ass the bounty hunter way. And things SORT of followed along with the general path for a while... Mom worked with Bren for a while, then hooked up with Jaguar Rockefellar.. damn I miss that guy... And then onto that fateful meeting with the MacDonnell brothers that led to Chaos Inc.... of course, it didn't all happen the same way since mom was way more in control of her shit, but the same chain happened... sort of.

Word eventually got back to dad about me and of course he just had to meet me. I was his only son of course... his only child. By this time I was eight and already coming into my demon powers.. much to everyone's dismay. Mom was beginning to rethink the whole leaving me in Hell thing. Apparently taking me out of Hell really didn't do much about curbing that 'little terror' thing I had going on.

So... enter dad.

Dad is thrilled to discover he's a dad. He wants to get to know me. Mom suggests he take it slow. They argue. They fight. Mom kicks dad's ass. Dad's friends step in...Fae friend gets a tad too close to mom triggering a 'growth spurt'.. Mom grows wings, thus ending her physical ascension and, seeing as how I've already seen to it that she's reached her full power ascension, bringing her into her full-demonhood.

The power backwash at this, nailed dad big time... and wound up seriously screwing with a spell that had apparently been laid on him when he was hardly more then a kid.

Spell removed... the hard way... it becomes known that dad is really the long lost Prince Ellander Errin...And.. seeing as how mom is out for the count recovering from her acsension, Uncle Esthel, the Crown Prince of Ter Nah Nog, decides it would be for the best if 'Ellander' and his son return to Court to recover and get to know each other...

Oh yeah... wonderful idea. Fabulous plan.

I had SUCH fun at Court, let me tell you! I believe that even now, twenty two years later, the entire Elven realm is still traumatized by their young prince's visit.

Needless to say, there was no further debate over custody... two months later I was back with mom who while still on the road to recovery ,was still the more able parent where handling me was concerned.

Although I bet she still has the odd giggle fit over the memory of the day dad brought me home to her.

I was fifteen before I was allowed to visit Court again for my Uncle's wedding.... and I'm still not allowed back. Not that that stops me.

Oddly enough however, I'm still welcome at my great grandfather's court.. but then... I've always had a very strong connection to my Faerie side. Even if three quarters of the Seelie Court have petitioned their king to have me banished to the UnSeelie Court... Personally I think that has to do with my demon blood and nothing at all to do with me... but I could be wrong.

So anyhow... while dad was recovering from the trauma of his brief stint at raising me and mom was enjoying her bounty hunting days, building her contacts and connections with the paranormal world as well as the mortal world, I was busy learning all about bounty hunting and fighting and all the various monsters out there, as well as all about weapons. For those of you who think it was a mistake to let a kid learn this stuff, trust me.. it was a needed balance; because at the same time, I was also coming into both my demon and faerie abilities. They needed something that would distract me from having way too much fun experimenting with those...

 And those new powers continued to pop up gradually over the years, until by the time I was twenty, there weren't many half demons out there that I couldn't beat.

So I turned my attention to the full demons instead.

Granddad was thrilled to have me come live with him for a while. Seriously. We got along great and he didn't bitch about the shit I got into. He'd give me the odd talk about thinking ahead and learning to control my impulses.. usually after I killed someone or something I shouldn't have.. but all in all, we got a long great.

I came into my full powers during my stay in Hell and Granddad named me his heir, then insisted I start training for my full ascension. Apparently, it wasn't normally the spontaneous thing it was with mom.. or rather, it wasn't supposed to be. It was normally a very important and almost sacred thing that was formed into a rite of passage. First you trained until you felt you were ready, then you faced a series of grueling tests... then , assuming you survived the training and the tests... you underwent the ritual that either ended with you being brought into your full demonhood.. or you died.

I got distracted during my training and went topside off and on, winding up meeting an other dimensional half sister of mine who enticed me into joining her in her travels. So for a few years I alternately dimension hopped with Lain and trained for my 'coming of age' deal... and basically just had a shit load of fun.

Over the course of that time, we picked up a few other 'travellers'... most of whom went to work at the castle Lain called home or started up another 'team' of travellers. But one stuck with us and the two of us became pretty good friends. Of course, she was cute as hell which didn't hurt, but I let myself get wrapped up by a stupid prophecy that completely threw me.

Anyhow... during our little jaunts I figured enough was enough and headed home to take my 'tests' and get the whole 'acsension' thing over with.

Yeah ... 'grueling' was an understatement. But hey.. I did it.. I passed with flying colors. I stepped up and 'Ascended'.

Now that was something else. Up until that point, my physical abilities were somewhat limited... like moms. I'd grown wings... demon wings but rather faerified versions of them... and when I shifted my skin went dark and hard like scale... plus I had a tail. But when I ascended... that went out the window. I changed. I mean I completely changed.

Now when I shift... I'm not a demonic looking human.... I'm not even a human looking demon. I still have the wings and scales and tail... but i'm a good seven feet tall if not taller and I'm not even remotely human looking. I'm all claws, muscled scales and teeth.

And I'm hungry.

Now.. my culinary preferences have never been 'nice'. I've always liked my steaks extra rare... but now... you don't even have to cut them off the cow.. I enjoy them still mooing... literally.

So... I take it you're starting to agree with the whole 'I'm a special weird freak' thing, now huh? Yeah... don't worry... it's something dad and his side of the family still tend to have a hard time coming to terms with.. Of course.. they all blame mom.

Mom... mom blames granddad.

Granddad... granddad just thinks its all shits and giggles.

So do i.

Like I said... we get along great.

So.... anyhow....

Here I am.... the son of a half faerie half elven long lost bespelled prince... and a half demon half faerie bespelled bounty hunter... who also happens to be the daughter of the half faerie half demon Demon Lord and a bespelled faerie of the old blood...

.. bits and peices that shouldn't be together... but are.

Add in the fact that my dad's dad, once he learned of me, spent a great deal of time and effort trying to have me killed.. as did several rivals to my granddad's throne... and of course my Aunt Shada... Plus all of mom's enemies...

... I mean, when you consider the odds... with all those people out to kill me from the day I was born... I really shouldn't have grown up at all. One of them should've gotten lucky along the way and offed me.

.... but.. nope. I grew up. And came into my powers.

Which is another thing that shouldn't have happened.

Ever since my granddad ascended, only the males of the family have been strong enough to reach the potential to claim their full powers... and those that survive the training and tests.... go insane once they ascend.

Can't have crazy royalty running around of course, which means they have to die. And all of them trained alot longer and harder than I did... and all of them were older than me...

....but I made it.

Somehow, this crazy little fucked up demonic faerie over came all of the massive odds stacked against him, was born, grew up, ascended and LIVED.

All because a Fate sneezed at the wrong time... the universe wound up with ....

Me.

Dante Macrory.

Heir to the Chaos Throne.

Booger of Fate....