Faal got his laughter uncontrol and kissed the top of Lex head, "Don't pout, love. you are much to sexy and endearing when you pout. I wasn't doubting you.. I just found the image of two petite.. ah nevermind." He said, wiping tears from his eyes. "

"Oh Fairlen could always hold her own...when we met Doyle..." He paused, lost in that thought for amoment, remember Fairlen kicking Doyle's ass. He smiled slightly. "Well he didn't really stand a chance...but she was so mad at him..."

"Sounds like you and Fairlen became good friends as well." Faal said slipping his arm back under the blanket and wrapping it around Lex. " you must miss her a lot."

"It was hard not to become good friends after two weeks of trapped by...The Sin...Even if Nate and Eire...and Doyle got us...Fairlen and I still had to rely on each other to stay alive..." Lex said softly.

Faal sighed sadly. "another time you were in danger and i wasn't there to save you. I wish I had searched harder to find the 'daughter' i was supposed to protect... then i would've found you sooner. Perhaps soon enough to have saved you from all these horrors you've been through..."

Lex shook his head. "Honnor Knight was tricky...put my mother in Abandon's realm..." He trailed off. It had been months since he'd even thought about THAT...And he realized he hadn't seen Justice in months and wondered if anyone else had.

Faal looked down as LEx trailed off. "Lex? You don't have to speak of anything if you're not ready.."

Lex sighed. "I just...haven't thought about that time for so long..." He admitted. "I suppose I've just been so preoccupied with other things...after finding out about the seal...Abandon's been the least of my worries...though some times it's almost as if I can still...feel him around..."

Faal sighed, resting his cheek against Lex. " We shall have to spend some time looking into other ways to remove that collar and sever your ties to him for good. "

Lex snorted. "Good luck...you need the key...it can't be cut off, you can't use magic..." He touched the small lock on the back of the collar a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. "Even Xander's resolved himself to living in it..."

Faal kissed the top of his head. "There are always back doors, Lex. You just have to look hard enough in the right places... there's always another way."

"I had the key once...but I didn't have time to use it..." Lex said with a sigh, snuggling closer to Faal. "Rue was mad at me for saving her rather then using the key..." He smiled slightly. "you'd have to go back to Hell to get that...and there's no way I'd let you, just over a key." Lex said seriously.


Faal suddenly chuckled. "Tell me, little flame... did you think to ask your stepmother? After all, as the heir to a throne of Hell..."

Lex covered his eyes with a hand. "Stepmother...she'd have a fit if she heard you call her that... And no... it didn't occur to me..."

Faal chuckled again. "I think you'd be surprised, Lex. I know Clarice comes off a certain way, but she's always cared a great deal about you. She's told me that she keeps having 'maternal instincts' when you're around and hurting. You should give her a chance."

Lex sighed. "Family....I spent my whole life not even knowing about my dad...or Saffron...or Regan...the only person I was close...the only person who looked after me...there was Evie...and she died when I was 15...I wonder some times if Xander's ever forgiven me for that..."

"I don't suppose you have ever thought of just asking him, either?" Faal asked with a soft snort. "Lex, love of mine, you need to stop being so... internal. Talk to people. They will surprize you"

"I'm not internal...I'm just shy...even around people I've known for years...and with Xander...its odd...He's not the ass he once was...He's grown up...i know he's gotten over...the things that happened between him and I..." Lex said, thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm not properly up to speed on how things have progressed over the past two years, other then what you've told me, but I can't help but that think that Xander is the only person who you can completely open up to about things, because he went through them too.. other then myself, of course." Faal added with a chuckle. He noticed the glow from the fire place was starting to sink. "Either we should stoke the fire back up or head to bed... or perhaps both if you're still cold."

"I still don't know who Xander was rightly working for...when he first showed up again...and he still wont say..." Lex glanced at the fire, and yawned. "No...I'm not as cold as I was..." He said with a soft smile, before looking back at Faal.

Faal leaned over and kissed Lex's forehead. "You should talk to him. Really talk, not just bitch. With Clarice too. And maybe your brother.. he seems to be overprotective of you and I'm betting it's because you never really talk to him about you. He'll never respect you as a person and an adult until you speak to him as one."

"Maybe...Saffron's always been...hyperprotective...but then...I don't know...I've heard that Arcanina once told him I'd betray him...I don't know how...or why I would..." Lex scrunched up his nose in disgust at the very thought. "Some times I think he acts the way he does because he's just waiting for me to..."

Faal shrugged. "Or maybe he's in the same boat as you, having an entire family thrown on him and suddenly finding himself the big brother... then finding himself the middle child..."

"Maybe..." Lex said with anothe yawn. "I suppose everyone expected Regan to have a harder time to adjust to it...but...she's more like her mother..." Lex smiled slightly. "Eire considers it almost scary at times..."

Faal was quiet for a moment. "well, actually Regan had more of an advantage then everyone else did. She was raised knowing you all were out there, but believing that she wasn't wanted. All she had to deal with was that she was wanted, very much. You all had to deal with the fact that you even HAd family."

"It's not that I don't love them..." Lex said softly. "because I do...it's just...some times I see dad and Saffron...I know Saffron got to spend...the first eight years with dad...and some times I feel like...I shouldn't even be part of their family..." Lex confided. "They had a...family life...before Saffron was taken..."

"then perhaps what you need is to get away somewhere, just the family.. or perhaps just you and your dad to start. build your own history together. It can't have been easy trying to build relationships in the middle of Chaos Inc."

"It's not that dad hasn't tried...and admittedly he accepts who I am... I'm glad to see he and Chaos have been able to recover what they had...they've been good for each other...and he's given up on that bloody spy job of his..."

"but you haven't had any time to the two of you, have you?"

"No...things are so hectic..." He sighed. "And you know me...I don't say anything..." he smiled sheepishly.

Faal chuckled and gave an exaggerated sigh." Ahh my little flame. Why must you make your life so much more complicated then it already is? You need to plan a get away for the two of you. Then a second one with either just saffron, or all of the family. I'd say I'd speak to them for you, but you need to do it yourself."

He gave him a look. "I know, I know...but they've got lives of their own...Alandra and Saffron...dad and Chaos...I guess I just haven't made an effort because...they've all got their lives together..." He winced slightly, he was just being silly. Yawning again, he rubbed one eye and realized he hadn't slept the night before.

Faal sighed and shook his head." You are a silly fool, Lex. you need to start putting yourself at the same level you put everyone else. But then, I guess that's why I'm here." He said and gave Lex a little shove off his lap and stood up. "come on, love. Put out the fire and lets get you into to bed."

Lex was forced to giggle softly and leaned toward the fire place. He reached toward the dying flames and ran his hand down the log in the fire place, the fire dying out. He looked back at Faal, trying to stifle another yawn.

Faal chuckled again, loving the sight of Lex lost in the folds of the too-big robe standing disheveled before the fire place yawning. He carressed a cheek, rubbing a thumb over the tear tattoo beneath his eye. "Ready for bed?" He asked, "I can grab you a shirt to pull on."

"Provided I manage to fall asleep...my sleep patterns are so irregular any more...I just don't like sleeping at night...can sleep all day if left alone..." Lex said, yawning again.

Faal chuckled and removed a pair of silk pajamas from a drawer. He handed the top to Lex and kept the bottoms for himself. "I'd give you the bottom too, but they'd just slide of you anyways. We've tried that, remember?" He asked with a chuckle and wink. "I'll go change in the bathroom."

"Yus...well..." Lex gave him a mock look. He hesitated, tempted to tell Faal he didn't have to change in the bathroom and was fingering the top, while watching him through lowered eye lashes.

Faal noticed the look and groaned, ending with a soft chuckle. "Lex.. stop that." He said and pulled him into a tight embrace. "You're only making a night of cuddling very hard to get through." He captured his mouth in a hungry kiss, his hair spilling around Lex's shoulders.

Lex melted into the kiss and was almost disappointed when it ended, but he gave Faal another mock look and replied very indiginantly. "I'm not always the one to blame for that you know..." He gave him a coy look however.

Faal smiled softly, brushing his lips against Lexs. "I know. But tonight you asked for holding only, so it's in your best interests to behave if that's what you really want. All these coy looks are not helping. " He gave him another kiss then turn and slipped out into the hall where he quickly changed from his pants and shirt; which never did get buttoned up all the way, into the pj pants.

Lex shed the slightly damp robe and slid into the shirt, buttoning it up. It pratically hung to the knees. He ran his fingers through his hair, fingering combing it and glanced about the room a moment, taking it all in. He rather loved this house, but it had been so long since he'd seen it. the last time he'd been here, he'd taken his things that he'd left once

Faal tapped on the door as he slowly swung the door open, not wanting to startle Lex. He stopped and stared. He looked even more adorabley sexy in the oversized shirt then he had in the robe. Faal cleared his throat , blushing as he entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Lex blushed, trying not to be self concious of the shirt...which slid down his right shoulder, not only revealing the chakrum tattoo, but the delicate phoenix on his back of his shoulder. He shoved the hair out of his face, looking at Faal. It seemed a bit absured that he was feeling nervous again, standing across the room from the man he loved.

Faal suddenly shook his head with a rueful shake, quietly laughing at himself as he walked across the room to Lex. He reached out, carressing the bare shoulder as he slid the top back in place... and watched the other side fall off instead. He chuckled louder, rolling his eyes. "This is so not fair." He muttered, his eyes twinkling. "Ready for bed?"

Lex offered a shy smile, tugging the other side back up, only to have the right side fall again and gave up. "Shirt size is not my fault..." He muttered, with a blush. then nodded "Bed is better then standing here..."

Faal had a sudden mental image of Lex crawling into bed and the shirt riding up... He cleared his throat again, hoping Lex focused on the blush creeping across his face, and not the other reaction to the image. He quickly scooped Lex up into his arms and carried him over, placing him down on the middle of the bed before pulling the blankets up in place and sliding in beside him.

Lex was suddenly caught up in a giggle and ducked under the blanket, he could feel the flush in his cheeks and had to turn slightly to stiffle the giggle in the pillow, but he couldn't help it, remembering the last time they'd been in THIS bed.

Faal groaned and pulled the pillow around and over his face. "Not the giggle! Lex.." He chuckled, then tucked the pillow under his head and he turned on his side. "Stop pushing the buttons. Are you sure you just want to be held...?"

"I can't help it!" Lex retorted, and he actually peeked over the very edge of the blanket. "There were feathers in this bed the last time...in case you forgot...I'm surprised the pillows are still here." he sank lower under the blanket, hiding again, but he laid his hand on Faal's chest.

"New pillows. There wasn't much left of the old ones by the time we were through with them." Faal chuckled and slipped an arm around Lex and pulled him in closer. "If you try that again, all bets are off."

Lex pulled the blanket from over his head and gave Faal a look. "You always blame me...you're just as tempting you know..." He replied, sliding a finger over Faal's cheek and down his neck.

Faal grabbed ahold of the finger and kissed it. "Ah, BUT,I'm not the one who insisted on the just holding part.. you are." he chuckled.

Lex had turn to his head away to stiffle another giggle. "Yus...I know, that was stupid on my part wasn't it..." He should have known there was no way either of them could keep their hands off each other. They never could.

Faal slid his hand down to Lex's waist and pulled him tight against him, kissing him. "I notice you're not yawning any more... I suspect another ploy to turn me into less then a perfect gentleman so you can pout about it..."

Just for that, he gave Faal a pouting look and he attempted to pull away, adding. "I've always been innocent, so I don't know what you're refering to."

Faal laughed. "Innocent my ass." he laughed again at the shocked look on Lex's face at the profanity. He flipped onto his back, pulling a slightly reluctant Lex with him until he lay with his head on Faal chest. "Good night litle flame. "

Lex did yawn now, snuggling against Faal, with his head laying on Faal's chest. "I've missed this..." He muttered. "And I've missed being called that..." He added over Faal's pet name for him. He was tired, but he really didn't want to fall asleep...just yet.

"Really? Odd.. I seem to remember a certain pillow fight erupted because I called you that 'one too many times' i believe you said..."

"You're the only one who's ever called me that...I didn't hear it for two years...but yus, that was what the pillow fight was over wasn't it." With that Lex grabbed a spare pillow and smacked Faal with it, not even attempting to stiffle the giggle this time.

Faal lay still for a moment, his eyes closed. He cracked one eye open and glared at Lex, who was sitting on his heels the pillow in his hands. He was biting one lip in that cute sexy way of his and his eyes were sparkling. "You do realize what this means, don't you?"

"No." Lex lied, biting his lip even harder not to grin. He sat back on the bed for a moment, crossing his legs and cuddling the pillow, still watching Faal, but ready to bolt if he had to.

Faal pushed himself up into a sitting position, his hair falling loose across his chest before he flicked half back over his shoulder. He drew up his knees and rested his arms on them, and just stared at Lex for a moment.

Lex was still looking at him with that almost innocent expression. But there was always just a touch of that look that shadowed on mischievious. And Lex knew it. He inclined his head, and looked at Faal through his lashes and a few locks of hair, resting his chin on the pillow.

Faal suddenly moved, lunging forward and grabbing Lex's ankle before he could jump away, and dragged him back across the bed. The pillow pinned beneath him, Lex lay on his stomach, as Faal dragged him closer.

Lex flipped over, the shirt riding half over his hips and he threw the pillow at Faal, attempting to pull away.

"OhHO! " Faal said, knocking the pillow aside and yanking on the ankle again, pulling Lex half into his lap, where he began to mercilessly tickle him.

"Oh!" Lex was caught between giggles and trying to pull away from Faal, hand gropping blindly for a pillow, which he managed to grab and crashed it into Faal, still trying to pull away.

Faal had the choice of releasing the ankle to fend of the pillow, or stop tickling and fend off the pillow... or be pumled while continued to hold and tickle... the third pillow smack to the head decided it for him, and he let go of the ankle and stopped tickling to grab his own and smack Lex back.

Lex fell over, a death grip on the pillow he had and he flung it at Faal, before rolling to his knees but the momentium of the next swing sent him tumbling into Faal.

Faal chuckled, dropping his own pillow and grabbing Lex with both hands and pinning him to the matress beneath him. "Gotcha. Remember the first time I had you pinned like this? That little inn.. cozy fire..."

Lex gave him a look. "As if I'd forget...the inn burned down though..." He let go of the pillow he had and wiggled under him. "No one was hurt...but we had a pretty good idea what happened..."

"Damn. " Faal said, suddenly serious again. He dropped ontop his side beside Lex, sliding a leg over Lex's so he couldn't squirm away. "What happened?"

Lex squirmed anyway, attempting to move, although Faal wouldn't let him. "Last winter...Maggie called me, and said something was completely off, so I went and stayed the night. Mrs. O'Riley and her husband were vacationing in Ireland and it was just Maggie and her daughter... I think it was after midnight or so...a fire started down stairs. Honnor Knight has a new hench man you see, and anything it was him..."

Faal sighed "Honnor again. Why hasn't someone killed that man yet? It's like he has nine lives or something..." He slid his leg up higher until he had Lex pinned at the waist. "Stop wiggling or I'll resume tickling."

Lex gave one more wiggle, putting both hands on Faal's shoulders and attempting to pull out from under him. "Yus, well, I haven't seen Justice in months, so I don't know...not that anyones really seen Honnor, but it seems some ones doing damage in his name...because some one's got control of Honnor's little army..."

Faal reached up and pulled Lex's hands off his chest, slipping them up over his shoulders instead and leaned in closer. He stopped with his nose just brushing Lex's. "why is it, we always wind up talking so much? Always a mix of everything and anything.. and almost always in bed. Amazing how it doesn't get in the way." He said and kissed Lex hungrily.

Lex stopped wiggling, wrapping his arms around Faal's neck. "I don't know...we've always had great communication." He said with a grin, before kissing Faal back.

Faal wrapped his arms around Lex and rolled over onto his back, putting Lex ontop.

Lex leaned over him, resting his hands on his Faal's chest, he looked him in eyes, before moving one hand to touch his face. "Why can't we just stay like this?" He asked in a whisper, tilting his head to the side.

"Because you always wind up worring about everyone else." Faal said with a grin as he reached over and played with the belly charm peeking through the pyjama shirt, which now had several buttons undone.

Lex rolled his eyes playfully. "No I always thought it was something more along the lines of the bad guys, but some one's gotta worry about the others! So I made it my job..." He glanced down at the rhinstone cherry charm.

Faal's lips quirked slightly as he fought back a grin at the look on Lex's face, focusing instead on flicking the little cherry back and forth with his finger.

Lex reached down and smacked Faal's hand away playfully. "Having fun?" He asked with a mock tone.

"I was, yes, until someone stopped me. I'd pout but I can't do it anywhere near as good as you." Faal said with a smirk.

Lex smiled mischieviously. "Takes pratice." He replied. "Not that I've had a lot of pratice for awhile...I'm usually being told off for it...I guess no one falls for it any more..."

"Except me.. but that's because you're just so damned sexy when you do it." Faal said sliding his hands up and down Lex's thighs. "then again... you are incredibley sexy at everything you do.."

Lex blushed. "Yus well, you're still the only one who came make me blush." He replied softly, leaning down a little more. "You don't have to fall for my pout, you know..."

Faal chuckled. "Oh i don't believe it... I just give in because you're so damned cute when you do it." He said reaching up to undo the few remaining buttons on Lex's shirt as he spoke.

Lex slid his hands above Faal's shoulders, leaning even closer, so Faal couldn't get to the last button. "I didn't say you could do that..." He said in a mock stern tone, quirking an eyebrow. He undid it himself, then let Faal pull the shirt off of him.

"If you're not a brat.. then why do you always act like one?" Faal asked innocently, one hand massaging Lex's bare thigh again while the other moved up to play with the cherry charm again.

"I don't act like a brat..." He whinned, still pouting. Then sighed. "Okay, maybe I have lately...but still!" He gave Faal his biggest pout, before running a nail down his chest.

"but still... " Faal echoed. "It's endearing. And I love it when you are."

Lex gave him a brilliant smile, "Well I don't think I've heard it as endearing, but I try."

Faal chuckled. "Well, *I* find it endearing, but then I'm rather biased, because I find everything you do either endearing or sexy... or both."

Lex looked at him side long, quiet for a long moment, before starting to slide off of him. "It's late..." He said softly.

Faal sighed, letting him go as he crossed his arms behind his head. "Tease." He said.

"Am not..."Lex replied with the same soft tone and a slightly serious pout, sitting back on the bed with the pillow again.

Faal flipped over onto his side and lay there facing Lex for a moment before sitting up. "I'm sorry, Lex. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He reached over and pulled the blankets back up, arranging them to some semblance of neatness. He reached out and took the pillow from Lex, laying it back down. "Come on, love." He held out an arm as the other patted the pillow.

"You didn't hurt my feelings." Lex answered softly. But he didn't move either, he just sat there, looking at Faal. He inclined his head, with a slight frown, more at himself, his mood having shifted again.

Faal gave a sigh and let his arm drop down to his side, then pulled the blanket over himself. He lay back on the pillow trying to think of what to say to Lex to bring him out of this new mood. He realized the storm had let up a bit, and while the wind still rattled the windows a bit and the rain was still drumming on the roof, the thunder had lessened.

Lex turned his eyes back to Faal, finding the shirt again. He pulled it on, sighing mostly to himself. Just when he thought the two years apart didn't matter, now he'd stopped himself again. It only aggravated him that part of him was wanting to run away again.

Faal heard the sigh and looked up at Lex as he finished pulling the shirt back on. "Come on down here, love." he said softly. "Let me hold you."

Lex hesitated, but left the shirt unbuttoned. After a moment, he moved, stretching out beside Faal with out a word and snuggled against him, but he was unsually quiet and withdrawn.

Faal sighed again, as he pulled the blanket up around them more snuggly and wrapped an arm around Lex. The other he left tucked under his head. "I wish you wouldn't do that.. it's very...awkward, like being with completely two different people from one minute to the next. I'm always afraid of kissing the wrong one." he gave a soft chuckle to let Lex know he was joking, and kissed his forehead.

Lex wrinkled his nose, the way he did when either lost in thought or confussed then said softly. "At least you're not the one who thinks they're turning into a split personality. Saffron wasn't lying when he said my mood swings have been severe." But he rested his head against Faal's shoulder, listening to the rain outside.

Faal removed his hand from beneath his head and stroked Lex's hair. He kissed his forehead gently. "Shhh love. Enough talk for one night. Get some sleep. I'll be right here keeping you safe."

Lex closed his eyes, but didn't exactly make an effort to fall asleep just yet, listening to the rain and Faal breathing. He tried not to think about anything, but it seemed everything began running through his mind at once.

The sound of the rain and the comfort of having Lex in his arms again must have lulled him to sleep for the next thing Faal knew was sunlight steaming in through the bedroom windows. The second thing was that he was alone in the bed. "Lex?" He called out, sitting up and looking around. He didn't see the robe Lex had had on the night before. He padded to the door. "Lex?"

The house seemed almost too quiet. In the down stairs library, Lex looked up from the book he'd been looking at, hearing Faal. But he didn't really answer, closing the book slowly with a sigh. He hadn't really slept the night before and had slipped from the bed around dawn. He'd almost left the house completely, but opted for the library instead, hoping the books would calm him.

Faal padded down stairs, automatically heading for the library, knowing that's the first place Lex would be, and found him sitting in the chair with a book in his lap. Faal sighed. "What am I going to do with you? "

Lex turned his eyes from the cover of the book to see Faal in the doorway. He shrugged at Faal's question and replied. "I couldn't sleep..." His voice was soft spoken. And he looked back at the book after a moment.

Faal walked over and stood infront of the chair for a moment. When Lex didn't look up, he squatted down in front of him. "Do you want to be alone? I can go, if you want... or give you a ride home..."Faal sighed and patted his knee as he stood up. "You could have woke me, Lex. I'm rather surprised I didn't wake up when you got out of bed.. then again, I haven't slept for two years... I guess I was tired."

Lex smiled slightly, sitting the book aside. "Two years of no sleep, I'm surprised your not still asleep." He answered, finally turning his eyes to him. He opened his mouth to ask something, then shut it, not really wanting to ask the question he'd been coming back to all night.

Faal chuckled quietly. "Well, the cave is kind of like a void... your body doesn't register things in the normal sense...." He stood and watched Lex. "Whatever it is, just say it, Lex. This is me. when have you ever had something to hide from me?"

"Its something better left unsaid...I think." Lex replied softly, looking away again. He forced a slight smile, starting to move from the chair.

Faal felt his chest tighten again. "So... is that how it's going to be between us now? Secrets and 'things better left unsaid'? Lex... there has never been anything between us 'unsaid'..."

Lex sneezed, sniffled and rubbed his nose, mostly to hide his hestitation. "It's not exactly something I want to hear myself ask." He replied softly, but slightly coldly. He rubbed his nose again and turned a forelorn look on the books as he quiet possibly wouldn't ever see them again. But he couldn't look at Faal.

Faal heard the chill in Lex's voice and suddenly thought his heart was going to burst. He gave a soft growl as he grabbed Lex by the shoulders and spun him around to face him. "Damn it, Lex! What the hell is going on?! What was last night to you, huh? Because it couldn't have been what it was too me if you're pulling away agian now. I love you, you silly stubborn, brat! Wake up and see that! I can not and will not play these games with you. I need to know where I stand Lex."

Lex stiffened, eyes flashing. "That's exactly the question that's been running through my head all night!" He snapped, pulling away from Faal. He snatched at his coat on the back of the chair where'd taken it off that morning rather then leave. Then asked the question. "Can we really make this work, Faal? I warned you! I told you I wasn't who I used to be, but you stubbornly want to except it was a change for the better. Well it wasn't!" Lex snapped. "And I don't want to drag you down with me!"

"Isn't that my choice? Don't I have the right to decide whether or not to take that chance, Lex?" Faal asked, cringing as the pain in his chest suddenly flared up worse then it had last night. He sucked in a deep breath, watching Lex pull on his coat. "Don't do this Lex please. Don't shut me out."

"You saw my mood change so dramatically last night...How could you..." Lex trailed off with a deep sigh. He finally looked at Faal, looking completely defeated and lost. "If I stay...I do or say something I'll regret...I don't want to do that...if I go now...you're not the only one I'm...running away from...I have to get out of this city...I have to get away from it all!"

"Then I'll take you. Anywhere you want to go. Just the two of us, Lex." Faal stood still, not daring to reach out to him or block his path. Just watching him and praying he listened. "Please, Lex. I'll take the mood swings gladly if it means I can have you. Please give me that choice. Don't walk out on me again."

Lex sighed again, and forced himself to turn toward the door. "It's not just the mood swings..." He whispered, taking the first couple of steps. "I wish you could understand...I haven't told any one this...but I know something bad is going to happen...something that's going to be my fault, I've felt it for months now..." he stopped at the door. "don't you remember what Rowen said...that I was still tied to Abandon's darkness, and I'd end up hurting everyone I care about, the same way he did to me...I don't WANT to do that!"

"And what about me, Lex? What about what I want? Did you stop to think this that by turning your back on me and walking out you are doing just that? I gave up the Pheonix Stone for you Lex.. I gave up Immortality for you. I have given you everything I have... and if you walk out, it was all for nothing."

Lex fell against the door frame, his head against his arms in silent sobs. "You think this is easy for me?!" He demanded with a cry. "There are reasons I don't talk to the others! I've been struggling with the desire to return Abandon since Eros countered the curse with LiVed's blood! My mother damned me! And I've been tempted to give myself up!" He tore the bracelet he was still wearing off his wrist and threw it.

Faal took two quick steps and was at LEx's side, pulling him into his arms. "Don't talk like that, Lex. I know it's been hard, but I'm here now. You're not alone with it anymore. I meant what I said. You want to leave everything behind, fine. No problem. I have houses and apartments all over the globe, as well as a home in ter nah nog, although I rarely go there... We can go together, Lex. Please."

Lex crumpled, pulling them both to the floor. "No where would be far enough to escape this! Don't you understand that... I know now what Arcania told Saffron, I know what the Fate's grand joke was...I wasn't meant to escape Abandon!" Lex cried, but he didn't pull away from Faal. "I would have left earlier if I hand't hoped..." he shook his head furiously, shutting his eyes. One hand began tugging at the collar around his neck. "I was meant for what I was born into..."

"No you weren't." Faal said, fiercely. "don't you EVER say that again, Lexine Mordant! do you hear me? You are a brave, thoughtful, loving, intelligent, beautiful person, and you have made my world and the worlds of those around you a better brighter place." Faal tilted Lex's face up and covered Lex's hand and the collar with his free hand. "I have never judged you by this thing, Lex. You're the only one who ever has. Please. fight this feeling and stay with me. If you leave, I will gather every last bit of strength I have, and do my damndest to destroy Abadon before you reach him."

Lex choked on a strangled sob, before opening his eyes to look at Faal. "Faal, please!" He began to tremble, "You can't fix this...I have to go back...for my own reasons as much as to protect you and everyone else. until I either get this off, or one of us...he or I, is dead, I'm never going to rid of this!" he clenched his other fist so hard his nails dug into the palm of his hand, cutting it.

Faal struggled to breath as the pain steadily worsened. "You're really going to leave, aren't you? Nothing I say or do is going to matter to you, is it." Faal stood and quickly strode to the desk at the far side of the room and wrenching a drawer open rifled around inside until he found what he was liooking for. Coming back to Lex he grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet and slapped a dagger into his hand. "Go ahead and kill me right now, then Lex. It'll be the same no matter what, and you'll feel as guilty about it, so you might as well have the actual blood on your hands."

Lex stared at him in horror, letting the dagger go from his hand to clatter to the floor. "No..." He breathed barely audibly. all he could hear was his own heart pounding. "I couldn't and you know it! I asked you to let me go, Faal...How could you..." His pulled at the collar again, frustrated and scared. "I'd take my own life before do that to you...and then the world really would be in trouble!"

"you ARE doing that to me, Lex! I know Jasmine told you. She pretends she's all high and mighty and what not, but she loves nothing better then to stick her nose in other people buisness. Hell it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she was telling someone about this right now or walking through that door." Faal said grabbing LEx by the shoulders. "You want to go, fine. But you'll take as much of me as I can give you." Faal said and grabbed a hold of the collar around Lex's throat, calling all his power to his hands and pouring it into the collar. His hands glowed a fierce rainbow of colour and the collar quickly soaked it up, starting to glow itself. Faal felt himself growing weaker and struggled to stand up as he poured everything he had into the one thing Lex would alwasy have with him.

"Faal, no! Please don't do this!" Lex cried, grabbing his hands. "Please don't do this!" he repeated, sobbing. The collar felt unusually hot and even more restrictive then before. One of his own hands grabbed the ring in the front, trembling, but tugged. In his head he heard some one scream as he wavered, and wasn't sure if the scream had been real or not. He kept tugging at the collar, almost as if trying to strangle himself with it and began screwing it around to claw at the lock. He'd never hated it so much.

Faal dropped to his knees, pulling Lex with him. Tears streamed down his face, but he didn't stop. He felt his human guise vanish as the power required to hold it went into the collar. " I have to Lex. I'll die without you anyways.. this way, at least something of me will be with you..."

Lex collasped against Faal, his other hand going to the collar as well, one pulling at the ring, the other trying to tear the lock off. He gasped for a breath, the collar choking him, but rather it was from the invasion of power Faal had put in it, or rather Lex was doing it himself, he didn't know. He thought he felt the tempture rising in the room and wondered briefly why haven't forgotton about his fire control. "Faal, please!" He gasp. he continued to pull at the collar. Then something flashed in his eyes and he shoved away from Faal, as the hand near the lock caught fire. The fire however had an odd color to it and it began snaking around the lock as well as into it. There was another scream and this time Lex was sure it was himself, but he was going to get the damned collar off one way or another.

"I'm sorry, Lex..." His eyes seemed to burn as he watched the strange fire consume Lex's hands and the collar, creating a rainbow halo of flames around his neck. He heard Lex's cries and could make out an odd echo to them.. as if someone else was crying out at the same time...

The fire wound itself around from the lock slowly circling the collar and Lex pulled even hard against it, still crying out, but while his cries were angushed, there was another that was enraged. Lex fell backwards, eyes shutting and he tugged so hard on the collar, he felt the pain in the back of his neck. Gasping again for breath, he tugged so hard, there was a sudden snap and his other hand caught something metalic and red hot. And he turned his head as best he could, opening his eyes to see the lock laying in his hand. His other hand tugged one last time and the collar snapped, breaking from his neck. He stared at both in a moment, before throwing them and trying to turn over to look for Faal as he struggled to his catch his breath.

faal smiled weakly at Lex as he saw the collar come free. He felt himself falling and everything growing darker, but he held onto the sight of Lex free at last for as long as he could keep his eyes open.

Lex rolled to his hands and knees, struggling to stay up right. The collar and lock he saw lay right next to the locket charm bracelett half way across the room. But they weren't his concern now. Bracing himself, he moved to Faal's side, dropping down beside him. "Faal..." He breathed, pulling him into his arms, and didn't even try to stop his tears. "Faal...why..." he breathed, craddling him. He thought for a moment, he heard some one at the front door, but he couldn't move. He wouldn't move

A hand gently touched his shoulder as someone knelt beside him and he blinked the tears away long enough to see Jasmine. He fought the insane urge to giggle. "He said he wouldn't be surprized to see you show up...." Lex disolved again to sobs, clutching Faal to him. Jasmine wrapped her arms around him in a hug, as he rocked back and forth. "Lexi, sweetie. He loves you. What else did yu expect him to do?"

"He didn't have to do that!" Lex snapped at her, still craddling Faal. he refused to move, even as he realized Jasmine wasn't alone. Estehl moved toward the discarded collar, with mild interest as Jasmine tended to Lex.

"Abandon isn't happy..." Estehl said with an almost wicked chuckle, picking up the collar and the lock that had cooled off.

Lex's eyes snapped up, tears still rolling down his cheeks even harder now. "I hate you! I hate you both!" He hissed.

Estehl quirked an eyebrow, before replying softly. "Lexine...who do you think really broke this collar?"

"I don't care! Just go away! Leave me alone! Leave us alone!" Lex cried.

Jasmine gripped LEx's chin gently yet forcably in her hand and turned him to face her. "Lexine, get a grip. Faal did what he believed he had to do. He's Fae, Lex.. I explained this to you. Fae don't love that deeply. When we love it tends to be a rare or fleeting thing. We never give our hearts to someone, and we never give our souls. Fae die of love, Lex.. or for it. "

Lex jerked his chin away from Jasmine's hand. "Yes you did tell me, and I hate you for it!" He hissed, eyes flashing.

Estehl gave a rather dramatic sigh and flung the collar and lock into the near by dead fire place, turning to move toward them. "If he were dead, Lexine, you'd know it. Because it's YOU he's given his heart and soul to." Estehl said with the same tone used on his children. "Jasmine I suggest you remove Lexine for the time being. To the kitchen or something."

"NO!" Lex cried, refusing to be moved.

Jasmine stood, struggling to pull LEx away from Faal. "Lex! Let him go for now! He needs time to recover...."

Lex stopped, shocked. "Wha..?" Jasmine smiled.

"He's not dead, Lex.. he gave you as much of his power as he could, but only you leaving him would have killed him. He's going to be very weak, and he'll be mostly powerless for a while... but then he gave that power to you..."

"It took that power for you to break that collar." Estehl said, before kneeling beside Faal. He glanced up at Lex as Jasmine finally got him to his feet. "Consider it both of you breaking it." He gestured with a hand for Jasmine to take Lex from the room, before turning back to Faal.

As Jasmine escorted Lex from the room, Estehl dropped his glamour, before reaching a hand down to touch Faal's shoulder, there was a prickling of fae magic and Estehl gave Faal enough power to start his recovery. He watched calmly, as an electric blue swirl seemed to spread from his hand over Faal, and waited to see if he'd at least come around for a moment.

Jasmine shut the door behind her and Lex once they were in the hall and turned her eyes to regard Lex, who looked ready to collaspe again.

Faal felt a tingle first before he opened his eyes and saw Estehl. "Wha.. where's Lex?" Estehl removed his hand, letting the power pull back into him, but leaving the glamour off.

"He's fine, he's with Jasmine. That was an interesting stunt you pulled. I'd ask if you were crazy but I already know that answer to that. " He reached down and helped Faal sit up. Faal sagged wearily against the wall.

"I saw...Lex.. the collar.."

"Yes,"Estehl said, smiling." The collar's gone. Abadaon's is extremely unhappy. Lex is hysterical, but he'll be fine. You, on the other hand, are exhausted. You'll need time to recover your physical strength, and you'll be doing so with out your powers for a while... I doubt you'll even have the strength for a human guise for some time."

"You're lucky Jasmine and I got here when we did...no real telling what Lex wold have done other wise." Estehl chuckled softly. "As confused as he's been, theres one thing that can't be doubted, and that is his love for you." Estehl sat back on his heels, then sighed, his head inclined to the side. "I suppose part of the blame is on me...because I should have told him two years ago..."

In the fire place, the collar suddenly burst into black flames and Estehl glanced that way, with another chuckle. "You two were meant for each other, no doubt about that..." He shook his head ruefully, with a slight grin.

Lex had only made it so far down the hall toward the kitchen with Jasmine before he sank against the wall, sliding down it, his knees drawn up and his head burried in his arms, crying again. Jasmine stopped turning back and knelt beside him. "Lexi..."

"It was my fault! I told him I didn't want to hurt him..."

Jasmine gave him a look. "Lexine...Lord boy...what are we going to do with you." She hugged him, letting him cry this time.

Faal leaned his head towards the door, listening, hearing Lex cry. "Lex?!" he tried to call, but his voice cracked and he had to try twice before he could make his voice loud enough to carry down the hall. "Estehl.. help me go to him.. please.."

Estehl shook his head. "No, I don't think that's nessaccary. I will however help you up to the nearest bed."

Estehl stood, and glanced toward the door. "I don't think he'll be leaving the house. So I suggest you get some rest." He told Faal, before looking back and helping him up, supporting him.

Lex had heard Faal and scrambled to his feet, but Jasmine took his arm in a firm but gentle grip. "You can see him once Estehl gets him to a bed...I promise." She said firmly. "In the mean time, come with me. I am going to make you a cup of my special tea." She pratically dragged him down the hall toward the kitchen, digging in the overside pockets of her coat with her other hand before removing a small cloth bag and pulled Lex into the kitchen.

Faal struggled weakly as Estehl picked him up and carried him towards the stairs. " Estehl... put me down.. this is ridiculous. "

"Stop bitching, Faal old friend or i'll drop you on that thick skull of yours. You don't have the strength to sit up by yourself, let alone walk. First door on the left, correct?" Faal waved weakly, trying to catch a glimpse down the hall to the kitchen as Estehl started up the stairs. "He'll be up soon, don't worry." Estehl chuckled as he carried him into the bedroom and laid him on the bed, then turned and started fussing with the blankets.

Faal rolled his eyes. "You're a king, not a nursemaid!"

Estehl smirked. "I'm a king, yes... and a king's duty is to his people...so shut up and lay still."

Jasmine had glanced over her shoulder to see Estehl taking Faal up stairs. She chuckled softly but stopped Lex. "Sit down, sweetie." She said before shoving him gently into a chair at the kitchen table. She moved quickly about the kitchen, putting the kettle on and setting up two tea cups. From the cloth pouch she removed a small delicate tea ball and opened it's top, glancing in side, before nodding to herself and sitting it in one cup. As the water heated, she turned back to Lex who was staring at her with the widest eyes she'd seen on him. She chuckled again, sashaying back over to the table and took his chin, lifting his head to look at his neck. "Well, you rubbed your neck raw..." She tilted her head to the side, then said. "But you look better with out it." She said with a firm nod. Lex shut his eyes before dropping his head to the table. "He'll be fine, Lexi." She said calmly.

Estehl leaned on the foot board, regarding Faal bemused. "I do believe you'll owe me after this one." He said with a chuckle.

Faal snorted. "Sure.. I help you end the ages long rebellion and gain the throne... I help save the worlds from the end of life as we know it... and still i owe you."

Estehl chuckled, and nodded sagely. "These are the ways of kings..."

Faal snorted, feeling a heavy weight settling back on him. "how long do you think i'll feel this tired and weak...?"

Estehl looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hard to say. I've never known another anyone stupid enough to do what you did. My guess would be a few days before the tiredness and extreme weakness fades. Maybe a week until you'r able to walk around on your own? As for your magic? Days? Weeks? Years? Ever? I have no clue... but I belive it will come back at some point."

Faal closed his eyes for a moment. "Estehl?Thank you. Thank Jasmine too. You no good busy bodies..."

Estehl snickered, still leaning on the foot board. "Ah well, you know Jasmine...ne'er has been able to keep her nose out of romantic interludes. She came to me this morning with the feeling something was seriously wrong here...you'd best be glad she did." He smugly brushed his nails on his coat lapel and looked at Faal with his head inclined smugly. "You'd best be glad I happen to like you and Lex." He added in mock seriousness.


Once the water had boiled Jasmine poured it over the tea ball. Lex stared at the cup, and thought about refusing to drink it, but Jasmine seemed to read his mind and said. "Drink it, or I'll tip back your head and pour it down your throat. It'll do you some good, it'll calm you down. THEN you can go and see him..." She added before Lex could open his mouth.

Faal chuckled softly. "I am very glad to be able to call both of you friends." he said, and must have dozed off, for he opened his eyes to find the room empty and the sound of footsteps just reaching the bottom of the stairs and heading towards the kitchen. He closed his eyes again.

Jasmine offered Lex a cigarette, and glanced toward the door of the kitchen as Estehl entered. "He's resting." Estehl informed them, his hands behind his back. He turned his eyes on Lex and regarded him. "And how are you feeling?"

Lex looked at his tea. "I don't know..." He answered.

Estehl chuckled softly. "Ah...Jasmine's famous tea...good." Estehl said with a nod, before taking a seat at the table. "I must apologize Lexine." Estehl said with a graveness. Lex looked at him, confused. "I knew what happened to Faal two years ago, and I should have told you...but I judged it not my place. A foolish act on my part."

Jasmine sighed from her spot. "Fae just don't get involved." She added.

Lex turned his eyes away from both and snubbed out the half of cigarette left, not sure what to say.

Jasmine smirked. "Well.. fae don't USUALLY get involved..."

Lex sat there staring at the doorway. "Can I go see him now?"

Estehl sighed. "In a moment. I need to speak with you for a moment first... Lex. Faal gave you his power. NOw most of it went into the collar and helped to destroy it, but I'm willing to bet quite abit went into you as well. I don't know what eefect this will have on you..."

Jasmine reached over and placed her hand on Lex's. " It could boost your own abilities, or it could do nothing at all...or it could do something no one will be expecting.."

Lex grimaced. "Yus...just what I need."

Estehl chuckled. "Your mother had the same brash tongue..." He said softly, watching Lex.

"Don't talk to me about her." Lex hissed, eyes flashing.

Estehl inclined his head. "The fact is, your mother was fae...despite your elemental side being the stronger, Faal's power could boost your fae blood."
Lex ground his teeth, biting another retort. Estehl was watching him, then sighed. "We'll worry about it if something happens." He said finally. "I suggest, in the mean time, you yourself rest. Jasmine will be hanging around, incase she's needed." Estehl said with a gesture toward Jasmine, who winked.

"Can I just go up there now..." Lex asked finally.

Estehl sighed, and sat back in his chair. "I suppose there's no stopping you..."

Faal struggled to open heavy eyelids. He'd heard something... Lex stood beside the bed looking rather fearful and sad. Faal smiled weakly. "Forgive me?"

Lex had to sat down on the edge of the bed and took Faal's hand. "Forgive you? It's me who should be asking that..." He said in a whisper, his other hand wiping away the tears on his cheeks. "I'm so sorry..." He had to add.

Faal gave Lex's hand a weak squeeze."Good news... we can just cuddle now. Not enough engery to get disttracted."

Lex gave a shaky laugh, closing his eyes a moment with a slight smile, "Oh Faal..." He opened his eyes and leaned over him and kissed him softly and with the utmost tenderness. "Don't ever scare me like that again...please." He added in a whisper, stroking Faal's hair from his face.

" as long as you never try to leave me again." he said, closing his eyes at the feel of Lex's fingers. "Care to come snuggle with me? you didn't sleep much as I recall.."

Lex said nothing, moving around the other side of the bed and slid onto it, beside Faal, still stroking Faal's hair. He just lay there watching him. Then whispered. "I wont ever try to leave you again...I love you." He rested his forehead against Faal's shoulder, closing his eyes a moment.

Faal kissed the top of lex's head.. the only thing within his reach. "I love you too. How many states allow same sex marriage? does Massachusetts ? If not, I believe Canada does..."

Lex looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. "Massachusetts does...and Maine, I think...Why?"

"Because I want to marry you silly. When I can get down on one knee I'll ask the right way with a ring and everything..." Faal's eyes drifted closed again, that dark heavy weight pressing down on him again. He fought against it, not wanting to fall asleep yet.

Lex let his fingers drift down to Faal's cheek, and he carrassed it, while clicking his tongue. "Oh you ass...as if I need a ring." He said softly, kissing Faal's cheek. "Shouldn't a yes be good enough for you?" He asked.

"Is that a yes?" Faal asked sleepily, blinking weary eyes up at Lex.

"Yes..." Lex answered with a soft smile, before leaning over to kiss him tenderly again. "A thousand times yes..."

"Then it'll do for now. " Faal said with a smile. "Now hold me closer then that, and no sneaking off as soon as I fall asleep again..""Hmm.. think Clarice would mind if I call her mom?"

Still smiling Lex wrapped his arms around Faal, holding him. He had to laugh softly at that. "I wouldn't try it if I were you..."

In the kitchen, Jasmine picked up her tea cup and was smirking into it as Estehl glanced at the ceiling. "And what are you smiling about, Jasmine dear?" Estehl asked, looking back at her.

Jasmine gave him a brilliant smile, "Just thrilled that's it's ended so well..."